This Is Where
by Kicon
Summary: Various moments of Parvati and Lavender through their years at Hogwarts as they deal with self-identity, internalized homophobia, and a Hogwarts crueler than anybody could've imagined. Part 2 of Through Their Eyes
1. Silence

_This Is Where_

* * *

A Timeline  
by Lang Leav

You and I  
against a rule,  
set for us by time.

A marker drawn  
to show our end  
etched into its line.

The briefest moment  
shared with you -  
the longest  
on my mind.

* * *

**1\. Silence**

Parvati stood on the platform hand in hand with her twin sister Padma as their parents fawned over them last minute, wishing them luck and telling them to write often. She looked out over the faces of the other people on the platform. Fretting parents, reunited friends, nervous faces. Strangers, all of them.

The final whistle began to blow. Their parents swooped down on them one more time ("Be good for Papa!" "See you soon, mere mishti!") before they were shuffled onto the train. Parvati held tight to her sister's hand as they walked down the corridor. Students stuck their heads in and out of compartments, calling to each other and laughing as they tried to find their friends. Parvati pointed at an empty one and Padma nodded. They slid in and sat next to each other, hands still joined.

They were quickly joined by a boy with sandy hair. He sat opposite them and grinned.

"Wow, ye're identical!" he exclaimed in a thickly Irish accent.

Parvati wanted to bite out some statement about how they had no idea - like they hadn't heard that their entire lives - but refrained. She and Padma weren't talking at the moment, so they just raised their brown eyes to his and gave him their best icy stare. He frowned after a moment and was about to comment when a few more students came in to the compartment.

"Oh, it's the Patils!" a girl exclaimed, beckoning someone over. "Here, let's sit with them!"

The girl entered the compartment and sat next to the Irish boy. She had a squashed face and short black hair and unfortunately the twins knew her. Her name was Pansy Parkinson and her father worked with their father, so they'd often seen each other at holiday parties. Two boys entered the compartment after her. One had dark skin and cold, slanted eyes. The other was small and skinny with mousy brown hair. The former sat next to Pansy and the latter sat next to Padma, who scooted even closer to Parvati.

"This is Blaise Zabini - " Pansy indicated the boy next to her. " - and Theodore Nott." She nodded at the boy next to Padma. "Boys, these are the Patil twins." Pansy paused. "What are you names again?"

Parvati scoffed inwardly. Pansy couldn't even be bothered to remember their first names. But instead of responding, she and Padma simply turned their heads and looked out the window.

"Oh, I see," Pansy said, rolling her eyes. "They do this thing where they stop talking for bits at a time. It's supposed to intimidate people or something." She turned to the girls and said very loudly, "Well you're not going to intimidate us!"

The Irish boy frowned at her. "They're not deaf," he said. "They're just not talkin'."

Pansy raised her eyebrows imperiously at him. "Excuse me?" she said stiffly, then leaned closer and narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe I caught your name. What was it again?"

"Erm - "

He shifted uncomfortably and looked to the twins for help. Parvati felt a pang of guilt and almost opened her mouth to tell Pansy to shut it when Padma squeezed her hand to remind her to be silent.

"Oh, I think I hear me name now," he said, getting to his feet. "Got to go, sorry."

And he was gone so quickly he left the compartment door open. Parvati felt bad for him, but at least he got to escape. A girl with long dirty blonde hair was walking in the corridor and poked her head into the compartment and looked around.

"What do you want?" Pansy snapped.

The girl went as pink as the bow in her hair. "Sorry, I - sorry." She closed the door quickly and moved on.

"Honestly, the riff raff on this train," she said with exasperation. "So, Theo, what do you think..."

Parvati tuned out Pansy's voice and looked out the window again. She thought about what Pansy said, about how the purpose of their silence was to intimidate people. She wondered if, subconsciously, that was true. It was something they had always done in times of turmoil or change. They would hold tight to each other and shut the rest of the world out. Because as long as they had each other they had all they really needed.

* * *

This is a long, multi-chap fic depicting various moments of Parvati and Lavender throughout their years at Hogwarts. All chapters are going to be in chronological order. Some are long, most are short. Some are happy, some are sad

For people who didn't like Par and Lav in the series, let me tell you that writing this completely changed my opinion of them. I didn't even really _have_ an opinion of them before because they were such background characters (aside from when Lav was dating Ron) and nobody really cared about them (again, aside from when Lav was dating Ron, and nobody liked her at that point because hello - Romione!). They were very two-dimensional. If you read this story they will never be two-dimensional to you again, or at least I hope they won't

This story exists in the same universe as its predecessor _Before I Knew_ so feel free to read that as well, though it will spoil the ending of this one for you. It is also canon compliant with the _Harry Potter_ book series (although I have taken liberties and stretched things here and there)

Please review! I really love reviews and they always make me so happy and I am eternally grateful to everyone that does

Hope you enjoy it! I really loved writing it =)

~Ki

PS. Follow me on tumblr! kiconwrites is my blog =)

PPS. I am an American girl, so if I mess up British terms or use American terms I apologize. I tried my best, but alas I am human and prone to error


	2. Speak

_This Is Where_

* * *

**2\. Speak**

Parvati and Padma remained silent on the boat ride up to the castle. They'd happened to be in the same boat as the Irish boy who'd run from the compartment earlier, and guilt had run through Parvati at the sight of him. He'd greeted them politely, though, and then chatted animatedly to the black boy beside him the whole way up to the castle.

They remained silent as they walked up a rock passageway and were handed off to a fierce witch in green robes. They remained silent as the witch took them to a room and explained all about the houses. They remained silent as other students broke into worried whispers about how they were going to be sorted.

Someone bumped into Parvati and caused her to stumble into Padma.

"Oh, sorry," said a high voice.

It was the girl with the pink bow who'd looked in on the compartment earlier, but she showed no sign of recognition as she gave Parvati a small, apologetic smile.

"I'm, um, I'm Lavender. Lavender Brown," she said, nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "And you?"

Parvati swallowed. "Um - "

Padma had let go of Parvati's hand and was now gripping her wrist very tightly, warning her not to speak, not to break the silence. But Parvati _wanted_ to break the silence. She didn't want ostracize themselves away from the people they were going to live with for seven years.

"I'm - "

A few screams sounded from behind them, and Parvati was interrupted by the arrival of some ghosts gliding into the room. She scoffed to herself. It figured. She was going to try to introduce herself again but then the witch had returned and told them to get in a line.

The Sorting Ceremony was about to begin.


	3. Separated

_This Is Where_

* * *

**3\. Separated**

The blonde girl - Lavender - got into line in front of Parvati and Padma got behind her. They walked single file out of the room and out into the Great Hall. She instantly felt self-conscious being watched by all of the older students and staff in the hall. She looked up at the ceiling and gasped at the image of the night sky there.

The witch set out a stool and a hat that began to sing. It described the four houses and the qualities of each, so Parvati was only half-listening. She already knew which house she wanted to be in: Ravenclaw, like her parents. She and Padma would both be in Ravenclaw, naturally.

They were identical, after all.

The hat finished its strange song and she clapped politely along with everyone else, although she felt a bit of anxiety fill her now that the ceremony was actually starting.

"Abbott, Hannah!" the witch called out.

A girl ran forward and put the hat on and Parvati found herself holding her breath for no reason.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the hat shouted suddenly, and the table to the first years' right started applauding.

The girl ran eagerly toward the table just as the witch called out for "Bones, Susan!" She also became a Hufflepuff, and the following two students both became Ravenclaws - they were the table on the left. Parvati felt her heart swell as she looked at the faces of those who were about to become her housemates.

"Brown, Lavender!"

Parvati looked up and saw Lavender walk slowly up to the stool. She was nervously playing with some of her long hair. The hat sat on her head for a few moments and then it declared, "GRYFFINDOR!"

The table on the far left began clapping heartily for its first new addition. Parvati clapped too. Gryffindor was a respectable house, even if they were filled with fool-hearty glory seekers. Her father's words, not hers.

They saw the first Slytherin sorted - a girl with a stocky build - and then two more Gryffindor girls. A boy with curly brown hair went to Hufflepuff and then the Irish boy from the boat went to Gryffindor. He'd sat on the stool the longest so far - almost a full minute. The girl after him ("Granger, Hermione") was also sorted into Gryffindor, and then there was a Slytherin ("Greengrass, Daphne") and another Gryffindor ("Longbottom, Neville").

The next boy was "Malfoy, Draco" and the hat had barely touched his head before it assigned him to Slytherin. But what Parvati noticed most of all was that his last name started with an M, which meant that she and Padma would be soon. Her heart pounded heavier in her chest. Padma squeezed her hand again, as if she knew Parvati's distress. She probably did.

A Hufflepuff and two Slytherins later, and -

"Patil, Padma!"

Padma let go of Parvati's hand and went up to the stool. Her face was set with determination and Parvati smiled to herself. The witch lowered the hat down onto Padma's head. Parvati held her breath and crossed her fingers. After a moment, it shouted,

"RAVENCLAW!"

Parvati clapped wildly and Padma shot her a radiant smile as she went to join the other Ravenclaws. Parvati felt a sense of calm come over her. There was nothing to be nervous about now. She would undoubtedly be sorted into Ravenclaw with her sister, as was right.

"Patil, Parvati!"

The crowd murmured slightly at the sight of her, recognizing that they were twins. She didn't take notice. She walked confidently up to the front of the hall and put the hat on over her head.

"Twins, eh?" said a voice in her ear. "I haven't had to sort twins for a couple years. Now, let's see, I should probably put you in Ravenclaw with your sister..."

_Yes!_ Parvati thought triumphantly.

"But hang on - you're not quite as identical as you'd like to believe, now are you?"

Her heart sunk. No. No, this wasn't right, she -

"Aha, I see you now. Right, the only place for you would be - GRYFFINDOR!"

The last word echoed out into the hall and bounced around in Parvati's hollow chest. Gryffindor. _Gryffindor_. A lot of ridiculous show-offs, her father always said. Reckless and boisterous.

And now she was one of them.

The witch snatched the hat impatiently off of her head and Parvati numbly made her way over to the scarlet and gold table. She looked up and met Padma's eyes and immediately flinched away. Padma was staring accusingly at her, as if she'd chosen to be put in Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw. She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to tell Padma - but her twin turned away.

Parvati dropped numbly into a seat and hadn't even noticed that she was next to Lavender, who nudged her and smiled. But Parvati couldn't smile back. She felt absolutely shattered. She was so preoccupied with her misery that she didn't even noticed that the famous Harry Potter was being sorted. The people around her exploded into cheers when he was sorted into their house. _Their_ house. Her house.

She felt like she was going to be sick.


	4. Vow

_This Is Where_

* * *

**4\. Vow**

Lavender was buzzing with excitement as she followed the prefects up to Gryffindor Tower. She kept trying to look over her shoulder to get glances of Harry Potter. _Harry Potter_ \- in Gryffindor! With her! She was housemates with Harry Potter!

She grinned to herself, sure that her years at Hogwarts would be unforgettable.

"Did you have enough to eat?" she asked the Indian girl who was walking beside her.

The girl - Parvati - didn't respond. She had been quiet all throughout the feast, only speaking when Lavender prompted her when they were all talking about their family heritage. And she'd hardly eaten anything, only picking at what little she'd put on her plate. Mostly she kept trying to make eye contact with her twin sister at the Ravenclaw table, but she didn't seem to be very successful.

Lavender wasn't offended by her silence. Rather, she felt pity for the girl. Parvati and her twin had seemed very close when Lavender saw them in the side room earlier. They probably hadn't expected to be separated. Lavender had noticed a pair of twin boys at their table, so she couldn't imagine that it happened very often. Parvati was probably still reeling from the separation and hadn't meant to ignore her.

Gryffindor Tower was much more impressive in real life than in her parents' stories, and she had heard plenty of spectacular stories. The fire was roaring and the room was bathed in red hangings. Their prefect directed them toward the girls' dormitories and suddenly fatigue hit Lavender. She decided it would be best to get some sleep now and explore her new living quarters later.

Their dormitory was at the very top of the circular staircase and a plaque over the door read "First Years." They quickly moved forward to claim their beds. Fay and Ginger - the two other Gryffindor girls - got the two beds to the right and Hermione went for the middle one while Parvati climbed on top of the first one to the left. The only bed left was the one between Parvati and Hermione, so Lavender got that one.

The girls changed into their pajamas in awkward silence, not knowing what to say to each other now that they were alone. Parvati got into bed and pulled the curtains tightly shut without a word or even a glance at any of them. Lavender shrugged it off; Parvati just needed time to adjust to life without her twin around. Hermione smiled at all of them.

"Well, good night, I suppose," Ginger said with a small smile.

"Sweet dreams," Lavender said, climbing into bed.

Fay turned out the lamps and the room was doused in night, with the exception of the moonlight flowing in from the window between Hermione and Fay's beds. Lavender smiled up at the ceiling before closing her eyes, sleep tugging at her edges. But just before she dropped off she thought she heard quiet sniffling to her right, and she made a vow right then that she would become Parvati's friend.


	5. Left-Handed

_This Is Where_

* * *

**5\. Left-Handed**

"...and Uric the Oddball, hailing from Ravenclaw House, was famous for wearing a jellyfish as a hat..." droned Professor Binns.

"That's Uric with a 'c' I think, not a 'k,'" Lavender whispered.

Parvati stiffened and turned her head to stare at Lavender. Lavender smiled brightly back at her. Parvati's eyes narrowed and she turned back to her parchment, grudgingly crossing out "Urik" and writing "Uric" instead.

"Oh, are you left-handed? That's really cool," Lavender gushed.

Parvati's left hand tightened around her quill. It wasn't cool. She hated it. It was one more thing that made her different from Padma. The only benefit was that they could hold hands and still be able to use their dominant hands.

"Want to study Herbology together tonight?" Lavender whispered again.

"No thank you," Parvati said. "Now please be quiet, I'm trying to listen."

Lavender deflated a little, but she supposed she shouldn't have disrupted the lesson. She would try again later, and sit next to Parvati in their other classes as well. Offer to study again, offer help. She smiled to herself. They would be friends before long.


	6. Congratulations

_This Is Where_

* * *

**6\. Congratulations**

_Dearest Parvati,_

_We received Padma's letter just the other day. Congratulations on being sorted into Gryffindor! We know you wanted to be in Ravenclaw, but Gryffindor is a good house as well and we know you'll do great. We're so very proud of you._

_Write to us soon and tell us all about your classes and new friends!_

_Love, Ma and Papa_

Parvati crumpled the letter in her hands and shoved it into a pocket of her robes. She wondered what Padma had put in the letter regarding her being in Gryffindor. "Parvati has betrayed the family" perhaps, or maybe "Parvati chose Gryffindor instead." Her parents' encouragements just made her feel worse about the situation, angry even. She'd hoped they would be upset, then maybe she could've talked to Professor Dumbledore and gotten him to change her House...

"Good morning!" Lavender said cheerily, plopping herself next to Parvati. "You got ready so quick this morning I wasn't able to - "

But Parvati had gotten up from the table, mumbled something about the bathroom, and sped off without looking back.


	7. Help

_This Is Where_

* * *

**7\. Help**

"Here, perhaps if you move your wand like this," Lavender suggested, making a strange wiggling movement with her wand.

Parvati froze and turned slowly to look at the blonde girl to her left. She slid her gaze down to Lavender's matchstick.

"Yours doesn't look like a pin either so that must not work," Parvati said coldly before turning back to her own matchstick.

Lavender swallowed. "Right. Well, I just thought I would try to help. I saw Hermione doing something like that and hers has gone a little pointy."

"Yes, well, I don't need anybody's help," Parvati replied.

Lavender looked down at her matchstick and frowned. All her efforts seemed to be doing nothing. If anything, Parvati was probably frostier than she had been before Lavender tried becoming her friend. She'd dressed before everyone that morning and had left the dorm before Lavender even had time to say good morning, and then she'd blown her off at breakfast.

But, she told herself, it had only been a few days. She would be friends with Parvati soon enough, she just needed a bit more time.


	8. Alone

_This Is Where_

* * *

**8\. Alone**

"Hey! Parvati - hey, wait up!" Lavender called, running up the stairs from the dungeons after the girl with the long dark braid.

"_Why_ do you keep following me?!" Parvati snapped, spinning around so quickly that Lavender almost ran into her.

Lavender blinked. "Well, we live together, and we have the same classes - "

"No, I mean why do you keep _bothering me?_" Parvati growled. "Always sitting next to me, always coming up to me, trying to help me, whispering in class - "

Lavender had gone pale. "I...I was just - I'm trying to be your friend."

Parvati rolled her eyes, but that statement had hit her in the chest a bit. A friend. This silly girl, today wearing a polka dot bow in her hair, had been trying to be her friend. It would be nice to have a friend, maybe, but -

"I don't need friends," Parvati said coldly as she began to turn away. "I have a twin."

"A twin that ignores you?!" Lavender shouted.

She froze.

"I see you try to talk to her at mealtimes," Lavender continued, shaking slightly. Tears had filled her eyes. "I see how she ignores you. I see you check the schedules to see if we have any classes with the Ravenclaws. I see you try to catch her attention in the halls." She took a breath. "So tell me, if you two are so close, how come she doesn't even look at you?"

Parvati clenched her jaw and fisted her hands. How _dare_ she -

"Have fun being alone," Lavender snapped, pushing her way past her. "Let me tell you, it's not fun."


	9. Friend

_This Is Where_

* * *

**9\. Friend**

Parvati was miserable.

She'd been absolutely ridden with guilt for a couple weeks now. Lavender was ignoring her completely and was doing as great a job at it as Padma was. And to nobody's greater surprise than her own, she had found herself missing Lavender's (constant) company. The first day was glorious. She wasn't bothered at all. But then she'd started to miss the little whispers, even though they had been a bit annoying. And she missed sitting with someone at mealtimes. And she missed being greeted and smiled at.

Lavender was right: being alone was not fun. Parvati had come to the realization that she'd never truly been alone in her entire life since Padma used to always be at her side, and she got the feeling she was only just getting a taste of what being alone was like. And she'd also realized, with a sinking feeling, that Lavender probably knew exactly what it was like to be alone.

She trudged into the common room after spending the evening outside trying to use the Softening Charm to make some pebbles go rubbery but she'd had no luck. The common room was surprisingly empty, except for -

Lavender looked up from her spot by the fire and then looked quickly away. Parvati swallowed and made her resolve, then approached.

"Lavender, I - "

"I'm sorry," Lavender said quickly, biting her lip and meeting Parvati's eyes. "I shouldn't have said that about your sister and I shouldn't have bothered you so much. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," Parvati said. "You were just being nice and I was a brat. It's just...it's been hard, without..." Parvati sighed.

"I understand," Lavender replied softly, smiling a bit at Parvati.

Parvati breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Lavender wasn't going to spend the rest of the year being mad at her.

"Listen," Lavender said slowly, her eyes on the fireplace as she nervously played with her hair, "I know you said that you don't need friends - "

Parvati opened her mouth to protest but Lavender kept going.

" - because you have a twin, but, um...I don't have a twin. I don't have any brothers or sisters, either. I don't really have anybody, so...so I _do_ need a friend," Lavender said slowly, glancing anxiously up at Parvati. "Fay and Ginger are already friends, and Hermione and I are too different...But I thought, maybe, if you would be okay with - "

Parvati grabbed a cushion off a chair and sat down next to her. "Lavender Brown, I would be honored to be your friend."

Lavender beamed and her eyes sparkled as much as her sequined bow.


	10. Singular

_This Is Where_

* * *

**10\. Singular**

"Why do you always wear your hair in a plait?" Lavender asked as she brushed Parvati's long hair out one night.

"I just always have," Parvati said with a shrug. "Padma and I - " But she stopped.

Lavender set the brush down. "Have you two talked yet?"

Parvati shook her head. "She won't even look at me. It's been months and - "

"I've got an idea!" Lavender said, bouncing on her knees onto Parvati's bed. "Tomorrow I'll wear a plait and you can wear a bow!" she exclaimed. "We'll switch! That oughta get Padma's attention."

Parvati looked unsure. "I don't know..." she said, but when morning came she went with it. With a scarlet bow in her free hair and Lavender's back in an elegant plait, they went to breakfast together. It was strange to feel her hair brush her arms, to have it blow in the wind, but she found that she liked it. Padma's face was one of shock that morning, but instead of feeling ashamed or wanting to put her hair back in a plait, she felt wonderful. She felt free. She felt singular.


	11. Sisters

_This Is Where_

* * *

**11\. Sisters**

The switching-hairstyles-stunt had had its desired effect in making Parvati more confident in herself and accepting of being a Gryffindor, but it had not caused Padma to start talking to her twin again. According to Parvati, Christmas had been an awkward affair. The twins' parents were at a loss as to why their girls, who had been thick as thieves before school, were now no longer content to be in the same room as each other.

But Lavender Brown always had a plan.

"Lav, what are we - "

"You'll see!"

Parvati stopped dead when they entered an empty classroom and saw someone who looked exactly like her but with a tie of blue and bronze standing there waiting for them.

"I received a note telling me to be here at this time," said Padma slowly.

"That'd be me," Lavender replied brightly.

"Well, I just remembered, I have to - "

"You two have to sit down and talk things out," Lavender said firmly. "You're _sisters_ for Godric's sake. Stop this petty fighting."

Padma glared at her. "This is none of your business."

"Actually, as Parvati's my best friend, it is exactly my business," Lavender replied. She smiled sweetly and reached up to adjust her bow, which was decorated with little birds.

"Pad," Parvati started, "mere adha***** \- "

"Don't call me that!" Padma snapped. "You don't get to call me that, I'm not your half anymore!"

"Why? Just because I'm in Gryffindor?" Parvati asked.

Padma clenched her jaw. "Yes. You betrayed me."

"It's not my fault - "

"You could've - "

"Could've done what?" Parvati asked. "Gone against the Sorting Hat? Refused to go to Gryffindor? I _wanted_ to be in Ravenclaw, Pad! I _wanted_ to be with you! But the Hat thought I'd do better in Gryffindor, and - and - " Parvati took a steadying breath. "And I like it there."

Padma's nostrils flared.

"And you know what?" Parvati continued, having found her stride and her confidence. "You're right, actually. We're not halves. We're individual people, Pad. You're my twin and I love you and you know me better than anyone else, but we have different interests and strengths. I think we've known that for a while now."

"I - "

"We don't have to go back to how things were," said Parvati. "In fact, I think it would be unhealthy if we did. But could we please start talking again? I've missed you."

Padma looked down at the floor. "I've missed you too."

Parvati took an unsure step forward and then Padma opened up her arms. Parvati rushed forward and Lavender smiled as the twins embraced. They really were identical, Lavender thought, if you only looked at their faces.

"So what's Ravenclaw Tower like?" Parvati asked. "Everything Ma and Papa said?"

"It's even better," Padma replied. "But what about Gryffindor? I head you have a fireplace that's four feet tall... "

Lavender smiled to herself and quietly left the classroom to let them catch up. Her work here was done.

* * *

***** \- So I couldn't find any translator that would translate English into English-ized Hindi, so I did the best I could with this one and wrote it semi-phonetically. It means "my half." If anyone knows Hindi please tell me the correct translation for this

~Ki


	12. Lion

_This Is Where_

* * *

**12\. Lion**

"I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom."

The whole of Gryffindor table leapt to its feet and gave a huge roar of celebration. Lavender and Parvati threw their arms around each other, screaming along with everyone else as Dumbledore changed the decorations and the hall was bathed in scarlet and gold. Neville was underneath a mound of people hugging him. Everyone was patting Harry, Ron, and Hermione on the backs. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were applauding loudly as well, whereas Slytherin was looking mutinous.

Parvati caught Padma's eye at the Ravenclaw table and her twin held both thumbs up. Parvati grinned and blew a kiss over. Padma rolled her eyes but still smiled.

Yes, she was rather glad to be a lion.


	13. Carriages

_This Is Where_

* * *

**13\. Carriages**

"I really hope we don't have to walk all the way up to the castle," Parvati complained as they got off the train.

Lavender laughed. "Didn't wear your walking shoes?"

"No, of course not! But look." Parvati paused a moment and lifted her foot, showing off a pair of shiny black flats with little bows on the top.

"They're so cute!" Lavender exclaimed.

"If you're nice to me this year I'll let you borrow them," Parvati said, flipping her long braid back over her shoulder. She still wore it in a braid most of the time but now at least she didn't do it because she felt like she had to.

"If _I'm_ nice? I'm _always_ nice! _You're_ the one who - "

But she cut off when the crowd cleared up and they could see the carriages that would take them to school. Horrible horse-like creatures were tethered up to each carriage. Lavender stopped in her tracks.

"Oh, good, we don't have to walk!" Parvati said joyously. "I wonder how the carriages move?"

Of course. Lavender had nearly forgotten. Her parents had warned that she would see these awful creatures. Thestrals. Students moved about and climbed into carriages, chattering loudly and oblivious to the skeletal creatures they were walking past.

"Lav?" Parvati asked. "Come on, let's get a carriage."

"Coming," Lavender mumbled, moving forward.

Parvati led her over to the one that Padma and her friend Mandy Brocklehurst had gotten into. As Parvati climbed in, Lavender went around to the front of the carriage to look at the thestral pulling their carriage. It looked terribly eerie, and Lavender could see every bone in its body sticking out underneath what looked like very sleek skin. Leathery wings were folded up at its sides.

She gave a small squeak as the thestral she was looking at turned its head to meet her gaze. Its eyes were pure white, and she felt her fear leave her when she sensed no hostility from the creature. Rather, Lavender thought she could feel pity coming from it. Maybe the creature knew what she had seen, knew why she could see it. Maybe it understood.

"Lav! What are you doing?" Parvati asked, sticking her head out of the carriage. "Get on, we've got to leave!"

"Coming!" she exclaimed, scampering over and into the carriage. A second later they began to move.

"Oh, I wonder how they're moving," Parvati said, looking curiously out the window.

Lavender nodded. "Yeah," she said softly. "I wonder."


	14. Teeth

_This Is Where_

* * *

**14\. Teeth**

"Gilderoy Lockhart," Parvati said in a sing-song voice as she brushed her hair.

"Did you see his _eyes?_" Lavender giggled.

"Much better than gross old Quirrell," Fay replied as she unpacked her trunk.

"I think I'll wear my lilac bow tomorrow. I read it's his favorite color," Lavender said, standing over her trunk and analyzing her extensive collection of hair bows.

"He's so dreamy," Ginger sighed from where she'd thrown herself onto her bed.

"His teeth are really white!"

The girls paused and turned to look at Hermione, who instantly turned red. Then they all started laughing.

"I didn't know Hermione could get show interest in something that didn't have words written all over it," Lavender whispered as Hermione bustled off to the bathroom to shower.

"Well he has written a lot of books," Parvati replied. "And his teeth _are_ really white. I think I heard her mention that her parents are dentists, so I guess she likes that sort of thing."

"What's a 'dentist'?" Lavender asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Well, they're like Muggle Healers, except they take care of people's teeth."

"So they stick their fingers in people's mouths?" Lavender asked.

Parvati shrugged. "Basically."

"That's disgusting," she whispered, a horrified expression on her face.

Parvati tipped her head back and laughed.


	15. Prank

_This Is Where_

* * *

**15\. Prank**

"What do you think it means?" Lavender whispered as they walked back to the Tower.

Parvati thought for a moment, the image of the blood on the walls coming unbidden to her mind.

"Malfoy seems to think Muggle-borns are in danger," Parvati replied. "But I've never heard of a Chamber of Secrets."

"But how is Mrs. Norris an enemy of the Heir?" Lavender asked. "She's just a cat! Mind you, I think she's an enemy of everyone..."

Parvati shook her head. "I have no idea." She sighed. "Let's not worry about it. It's probably just somebody playing a prank."

"That's a pretty serious prank," Lavender said, but they said no more on the subject.


	16. Lucky

_This Is Where_

* * *

**16\. Lucky**

"Do you still think it's a prank?"

Parvati turned to Lavender and closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I don't know what this is anymore. But somebody - or something - is attacking Muggle-borns."

"But nobody's dead," Lavender said. "Professor Sprout will have the Mandrake draught ready soon, so no harm done."

"No harm done?" Parvati repeated. "Lav, you don't seriously think whatever is doing this _meant_ to only petrify them? It meant to kill! Colin and Justin were lucky. Whoever's next may not be."

"Okay," Lavender said stubbornly, trying not to feel embarrassed. "But why are you so worried? You're a half-blood."

Parvati stared at her for a moment. "I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about everyone else! Ginger's hardly slept these past months cause she's so scared she'll get attacked. Hermione and Dean are Muggle-borns too, how do you think they feel? And what happens if this thing gets bored of attacking kids? My ma's a Muggle-born, Lav."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I - "

"You're a pureblood, Lav. You just don't get it," Parvati said, then turned and walked away.


	17. Panic

_This Is Where_

* * *

**17\. Panic**

"Are you okay?"

Lavender looked up from where she sat on her bed. Parvati approached her slowly. Lavender's eyes filled with tears again and she put her face back in her arms. Yesterday Hermione and a Ravenclaw girl were attacked, and Lavender was feeling awful over not realizing the severity of the situation earlier.

The school was on the verge of a panic. Ginger had gone nearly catatonic with fear and not even Fay could get her to talk. Seamus had glued himself to Dean's side. Harry and Ron weren't talking to anybody but themselves. If there was a silver-lining to any of this, it was that most everybody had stopped suspecting Harry of being the Heir after Hermione's attack. Only the most fervent were still saying that he attacked Hermione to draw suspicion off of him, but hardly anyone paid attention to those people.

"I'm sorry," Lavender sobbed. "You were right, I d-didn't get it. I just think it w-would get this b-b-bad."

Parvati hummed soothingly under her breath as she sat next to Lavender and put an arm around her. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"I don't w-want anyone else to g-get attacked," Lavender cried. "I d-don't want the school to c-close."

"I know," Parvati said. "I know."


	18. Feast

_This Is Where_

* * *

**18\. Feast**

The common room was heavy with remorse. Everyone was sure that this would be their last night at Hogwarts. Rumor was that it was going to close because of Ginny Weasley's kidnapping. Most people had gone to bed already, but either to get a good night's sleep before the train ride home or so they wouldn't have to see the miserable expressions on the Weasley brothers' faces, nobody knew. Harry and Ron still hadn't returned from when they left earlier in the evening.

Parvati and Lavender sat together near Fay and Ginger. Fay kept trying to coax Ginger to go up to the dormitories and get some sleep, but Ginger kept shaking her head. She seemed not to want to leave the populated area, lest the monster get one more attack in before they all left.

"It's getting late," Parvati said, watching a first year nodding off in a chair by the fire.

"I won't be able to sleep," Lavender replied. "I just know I won't."

Parvati reached out and grabbed Lavender's hand. "Then I'll stay up with you," she said.

Lavender smiled, her hand tingling slightly as she squeezed Parvati's.

Just then they heard the portrait door open and Professor McGonagall swept into the common room. Percy rose to his feet from where he sat with Fred and George in the middle of the room.

"I was just...just getting them off to bed, Professor," he mumbled. He looked pale and sick with worry.

"No need," said McGonagall. Her eyes were strangely alight. "Your sister has been recovered. She and your parents are in the hospital wing right now. Worry not, she appears not to have been harmed. Just badly shaken."

Fred and George let out sighs and smiled weakly at each other and Percy moaned with relief, sinking back down to the floor. Everyone murmured happily to each other.

"But how - ?" Fred asked.

"Your younger brother and Mr. Potter found the Chamber of Secrets and destroyed the monster that had kidnapped her," she said, just a hint of pride in her voice.

"What was it?" someone asked.

"A basilisk."

The older students inhaled sharply with surprise while the younger ones just looked confused. They all started shouting questions but McGonagall held up a hand to silence them.

"I'm sure the young Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter will be willing to answer your questions at the feast tonight."

The students looked very confused. Some of them murmured, "Feast?"

"Oh, yes. We've got quite a lot to celebrate, you know," she said, her mouth quirking up into a small smile. "Ginny Weasley has been rescued, the school will not close after all, Professor Dumbledore has returned, Hagrid is being released from Azkaban cleared of all charges, Madam Pomfrey is administering the Mandrake draught as we speak, and Potter and Weasley have just earned Gryffindor House two hundred points each."

_"WE WON THE CUP!"_ they chorused, everyone rising to their feet.

McGonagall was definitely smiling now. "Please make your way to the Great Hall. No need to change into robes. Weasleys, I will escort you to the hospital wing."

Ginger was crying openly and Fay, Parvati, and Lavender all hugged her tightly.

"Last year Quirrell turned out to be evil and this year students got attacked," Parvati said. "I wonder what next year will be like!"

They all laughed.


	19. Hiding

_This Is Where_

* * *

**19\. Hiding**

"Oh good, we have Divination first!" Lavender exclaimed when they were handed their schedules. "I've been looking forward to that!"

Parvati smiled. "Hey, Lav?"

"Yeah?"

"Yesterday at the carriages," Parvati started.

Lavender stiffened.

"You looked like you were looking at something, and you did the same thing last year."

"Did I?" Lavender said softly.

"Yeah you did, so...did you see something?" Parvati asked. "Does something actually pull the carriages or do they move on their own?"

"They move on their own, obviously," Lavender replied, but her voice was curt and she wouldn't meet Parvati's eyes. She gathered her things. "We should get going, Divination is all the way at the North Tower."

"Right, yeah," Parvati said, but she got the feeling that Lavender was hiding something from her.


	20. Curious

_This Is Where_

* * *

**20\. Curious**

"She's brilliant, absolutely brilliant," Lavender gushed as she and Parvati made their way from Professor Trelawney's classroom where they'd just had lunch.

"Yeah, she is," Parvati agreed.

"How she knew that I'd brought a turkey sandwich, I'll never - "

"Hey, wait a sec."

Lavender turned. "What is it?"

Parvati was playing with the end of her braid, which she only did when she was feeling guilty over something. Lavender frowned.

"I, um, I asked Professor Flitwick how the carriages move," Parvati mumbled, "and he said they're pulled by thestrals. I had no idea what they were so I looked them up, and - "

Lavender paled. "You had no right to do that."

Parvati glared at her. "Where do you get off saying that? Flitwick said it's not a secret that they're pulled by thestrals, it's just that students assume they move on their own. I was curious so I went and found out."

"You were curious because of me!" Lavender exclaimed. "You purposefully dug into my business - "

"I didn't - "

"So I guess you know how I can see them," Lavender snapped, color rising to her cheeks and tears to her eyes. "Guess you wanna know - "

"No, I don't," Parvati said quietly, catching Lavender by surprise. "Not unless you want to tell me. I just...I knew you weren't telling me something, so I found out for myself. I'm sorry that I upset you, but - but at least you can confide in someone now!" Parvati tried to smile. "If you want to, that is. And, um, I'm sorry for...for whatever it is that you saw."

Lavender stared at her for a long while, filled with conflicting emotions. She was angry that Parvati knew, and yet embarrassed that she had kept a secret from her best friend. And she wanted to cry for no reason. But after a bit she nodded curtly and Parvati smiled.

"What do you think of Trelawney saying she sees a lot of Venus in our future?" Parvati asked casually, as if nothing had happened, and they set off again.

And instantly all of those ugly emotions she'd been feeling were gone, replaced by gratitude for having Parvati in her life.


	21. Bunnies

_This Is Where_

* * *

**21\. Bunnies**

"CATCH THAT CAT!" someone shouted downstairs.

Lavender looked up from where she was stretched out on her bed with her Divination homework around her. "What do you think Crookshanks did this time?"

Parvati shrugged. "I have no idea. I quite like him. It's a shame he keeps trying to eat Ron's rat, though."

Hermione appeared in the doorway of their dormitories looking breathless and on the verge of tears. Her arms were wrapped tightly around Crookshanks, who was looking largely displeased. Hermione went over to her bed and set the massive cat down.

"Stay, Crookshanks, please," she begged, giving him a pat on the head. Then she gave Parvati and Lavender a tight smile before returning down to the common room.

Crookshanks stared at the closed door contemplatively for a moment and then curled up on Hermione's bed.

Lavender got up and knelt by the bed, scratching between his ears. He started purring loudly and Lavender smiled.

"I wish Hogwarts allowed rabbits," she said longingly. "Then I could've brought Binky."

Parvati gave her an amused look. "Oh, that would've been grand," she said sarcastically. "If Crookshanks is so determined to eat Scabbers how do you think he would feel about a nice, defenseless bunny?"

"He wouldn't eat Binky," Lavender said defensively. She turned back to the cat and cooed at him, "No, you don't wanna eat bunnies, do you?"

Crookshanks gave a nice loud purr and began kneading the blankets.


	22. Foam

_This Is Where_

* * *

**22\. Foam**

"Are you sure you're okay?" Parvati asked.

Lavender rolled her eyes. "For the millionth time, yes. Now let's go to Honeydukes."

Parvati looked at her doubtfully but followed after a moment. She'd taken to asking about Lavender's well-being every day since she'd gotten the letter about Binky's death. Lavender had, naturally, been upset for a few days, but now she was fine. She hated it when people dwelled on death. They were all alive, so why waste it? If anything good had come of it, it had cemented Lavender's belief in Professor Trelawney's predictions.

With their pockets laden with candy they stopped in to the Three Broomsticks to warm themselves up before they had to walk back to the castle for the Halloween feast. They slid into a booth and Parvati began pulling off her gloves and scarf as Lavender ordered them two butterbeers.

"Ah, that's better," Parvati said, flexing her fingers now that they were free from gloves.

Lavender giggled and Parvati smiled at her. Madam Rosmerta arrived with their mugs, which they accepted gratefully.

"I love this stuff," Lavender said, taking a big gulp.

Parvati started laughing.

"What?" Lavender asked with a frown.

"Nothing, it's - "

Parvati cut off and reached across the table, placing her hand on Lavender's cheek, causing goose bumps to rise on Lavender's arms despite the heavy coat she was wearing. Her thumb stretched out and wiped something off of the tip of Lavender's nose. Parvati pulled her hand back and Lavender was surprised to feel disappointment at the lack of contact. Parvati sucked on her thumb for a moment and then smiled.

"Foam," she said in explanation.

Lavender felt herself blushing for some reason. "Oh." Her voice wouldn't work any further than that, so she started guzzling the rest of her butterbeer to cover her silence but didn't get any more foam on her nose.

Parvati smiled and finished hers too. "Ready to go back?"

She nodded.

Parvati pulled her scarf back on with a dramatic sigh and slipped her gloves on. They stood up and left the pub and then Parvati looped her arm through Lavender's.

"To the feast!" she declared and Lavender tried to ignore the tingle that ran up her arm.

Later that night Lavender's mind should've been filled with worry about Sirius Black in the castle as they all slept in the Great Hall, but she just kept thinking about Parvati's hand on her cheek.


	23. Palms

_This Is Where_

* * *

**23\. Palms**

"What's wrong with Hermione?" Parvati whispered.

Lavender twisted around in her seat. Hermione was sitting with Neville. She was attempting to read his palm lines. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she looked like she was about to drop dead from exhaustion.

"Well, Harry and Ron aren't speaking to her anymore," Lavender whispered back. "Crookshanks ate Ron's rat, didn't you hear?"

"No!"

Lavender nodded. "Ron was distraught. I also think she's taking too many classes. She's running herself ragged."

Parvati gazed sympathetically over at Hermione, who had given up on Neville's palm and was letting him try to read hers. Lavender looked over too. She and Parvati wasn't friends with the girl, and in all honesty they hardly knew her, but they by no means wanted her to suffer. Lavender hoped that they'd get over this fight and go back to being the trio they were.

"Right, well, let's see," Parvati said, taking Lavender's hand and bending over her palm.

Lavender swallowed heavily and prayed that her hand wouldn't start sweating.

"Your head line is straight, so you're materialistic." She winked at Lavender and Lavender laughed. "And it's pretty faint so you've got a poor memory. Now your life line is broken up, so you're gonna have to deal with, um..." She scanned the book. "Struggles. Sorry about that. And it forks right at the end, so something in your life is going to change at the end. Now your heart line is deep and straight, so...your love life will be stressful and you'll have intense feelings."

"Great," Lavender said sarcastically, but her heart was beating nervously. Struggles in her life? A stressful, intense love life? She didn't want to believe it, but Divination had been right so far...

"Let me see yours," Lavender said, reaching out and grabbing Parvati's hand. "Your head line is short and deep, so you're intelligent and have a great memory."

"We balance each other out!" Parvati exclaimed.

Lavender rolled her eyes. "Your life line is deep, so you'll have good health. Oh and yours forks at the end too! But yours looks different. One bit fades off and the other keeps going. Now your heart line is straight too, so your love life will be intense. It's also chained, so you'll have karmic relationships."

"Oh, those are the ones where I'm meant to meet them, right?" Parvati said.

"Something like that, I think," Lavender said.

"My dear boy!" Trelawney exclaimed, gripping Harry's hand tightly. Harry's expression was one of tired annoyance. "You have an unusually high Mars Positive mount! This reveals your aggressive nature, which, in combination with your short life line, I fear determines that you will meet your end from losing your temper!"

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks," Harry said dryly. "Maybe do some meditation, keep my head straight."

"A good course of action," Trelawney replied gravely.

"He really should take her more seriously," Parvati whispered, looking annoyed.

"I don't like how he makes fun of her," Lavender replied, then looked down at their hands. She'd curled her fingers around Parvati's without meaning to. She let go quickly. "Sorry!"

"No harm done," Parvati said with a sweet smile, pulling her hand back. She picked up her quill. "We should write down our readings, right?"

Lavender pushed the intrusive thoughts of holding Parvati's hand away. "Right."


	24. Brownie

_This Is Where_

* * *

A/N: Warning for mention of suicide

* * *

**24\. Brownie**

The common room was incredibly crowded, what with the entire House there, but Lavender and Parvati managed to find a spot to themselves. Nobody wanted to go back to their beds and sleep just in case Black was still in the school. Gryffindor Tower had been searched first and was concluded empty, but Parvati kept thinking back to how Hannah Abbott was theorizing that Black could change into a flowery shrub. She wondered if there were any shrubs in the tower.

Parvati looked around the common room. Older students were comforting and reassuring the first and second years. Ron was sitting by the fire surrounded by his brothers, sister, and Harry. Hermione was off to the side by herself. She looked like she'd just been crying and she kept glancing over at Ron as if to make sure he was still there, but she didn't go over. Parvati saw Dean and Seamus sitting together and realized with a start that their foreheads were pressed together and that Dean's hands were in Seamus'. Neville was crying to himself on the far side of the common room, and everyone was ignoring him.

"I was six," Lavender said softly.

Parvati looked up at her in confusion.

"I was six when I saw..." She struggled for a moment, "death."

Parvati's brown eyes widened. "Oh, no you don't have - "

"I want to," Lavender interrupted. She swallowed. "I need to."

After a moment of deliberation, Parvati nodded. She was suddenly unsure whether she really wanted to hear this or not. But it was too late now.

"There was this Muggle couple that lived next door to us," she started. "They moved to the neighborhood as newlyweds. They were really nice. The man called me brownie girl cause of my last name, and then the wife would make brownies for me every month."

Lavender stared off into nothing as the memories came back to her. She took a shaky breath and Parvati put her arm around her. Lavender leaned in to the touch and brought her knees up to her chest.

"About a year after they moved in my mum and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood," she said, her voice weak. "The man was standing on the porch. He looked really upset, but when he saw us he smiled. He looked at me and said..." She swallowed. "He said, "Hey there brownie girl." And...th-then he held up a m-metal thing and - and my mum realized wh-what he was d-d-doing and tried to c-cover my eyes but she was t-too slow. There was a b-bang and then he just..._died._"

Lavender shuddered with the effort of holding in a sob and Parvati's arms tightened around her Tears were leaking down Lavender's cheeks and Parvati started to stroke her hair, unable to believe that Lavender had witnessed such tragedy at such a young age. After a few moments of gathering herself, Lavender spoke again.

"My mum called the Muggle authorities and took me straight home," Lavender continued. "Apparently his wife left and took all his money and all their expensive items with her. He was devastated.

"I was in therapy for months. The thing that I couldn't wrap my head around was how he was there and then he just...wasn't. How could everything he was just be gone in a heartbeat? His eyes, it was like...like somebody just turned the lights off."

"Lav, I'm so - " Parvati started.

"No, don't," Lavender interrupted. She turned her head to the side so she could meet Parvati's eyes, their faces hovering close together. "I know you're sorry, but please don't say it. I've come to terms with it. I can't dwell on it. I _can't_." Lavender smiled a bit. "I'll be fine in the morning, I swear."

Parvati tilted her head to the side and looked at her curiously. Lavender, giggly silly Lavender, had witnessed a suicide at the age of six. And yet she had worked to understand it, accepted that it had happened, and moved on.

"You know, Lav," she said, "I think you're the strongest person I know."

Lavender smiled and put her head on Parvati's shoulder, and they sat like that till morning.


	25. Always

_This Is Where_

* * *

**25\. Always**

"I'm just happy we're finally rid of those awful dementors," Lavender said, leaning over the sink to straighten her gold and scarlet bow in the mirror.

The tumultuous year had come to a close on a rather high note. Hermione was friends with Harry and Ron again and was much pleasanter company in the dormitory now that she wasn't crying and frazzled all the time. Lavender and Parvati both passed their Divination finals with flying colors and high praise from Professor Trelawney. Gryffindor won the House Cup by a landslide, mostly due to their winning the Quidditch Cup as well.

The only downfalls were that Lupin was resigning - it turned out he was a werewolf! - and that Black had escaped, but everybody figured that since Black had had such a close call with the dementors that he wouldn't try coming around Hogwarts again anytime soon.

"Definitely," Parvati agreed. "You look great, come on, let's go to the feast."

"Coming," Lavender said, giving her bow one final tug before turning around and leaving with Parvati.

"Hey Par?" she asked as they walked. "We're always going to be best friends, right?"

Parvati smiled. "Right. It's you and me till the end of time."


	26. Different

_This Is Where_

* * *

**26\. Different**

"I wish I could've gone to the World Cup," Lavender sighed, watching Seamus, who was strutting around the common room with his chest puffed out so as to show off the Ireland rosette on his chest. Dean watched him with amusement from where he sat in a windowsill sketching.

"I only would've gone if India had made it," Pavati replied, "but they didn't even qualify for the tournament this year. Pathetic."

"What if England had made it?" Lavender asked.

Parvati shrugged.

"But it's your home country!"

"Yes exactly," Parvati said with a grin. "Everyone here roots for England. I like being different. It's more fun to root for India. England's my back-up team."

Lavender rolled her eyes. "I suppose it's best we didn't go. The Death Eater riot didn't sound like much fun."

"Yeah, you're right." Parvati shrugged. "Did you get the birthday present I sent?"

"Yes, I - " Lavender's hand flew to her neck and groped for a second before she paled with horror when she realized the necklace wasn't there. "I was just wearing it! I don't - "

Parvati started laughing, much to Lavender's embarrassment.

"I'm really sorry, Par. It was great. The bunny charm reminded me of Binky," Lavender mumbled. "I just don't know - "

"It's fine, Lav, really. It wasn't expensive or anything," Parvati said, restraining her giggles.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked, pouting slightly.

Parvati shrugged again. "I guess because you lose everything?"

"I do not!" Lavender exclaimed, hitting her with a pillow from the chair.

"Okay, okay, you don't!" Parvati said, throwing her hands up in surrender.

Lavender stopped hitting her and smiled triumphantly.

"What do you think of the Triwizard Tournament coming up?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm so excited," Parvati said, turning in her chair so she could more properly face Lavender. "I hope a Gryffindor gets chosen."

"But _everyone's_ going to be rooting for Gryffindor," Lavender teased. "Wouldn't you rather a Slytherin got it? Then you could be diff - "

Parvati threw a pillow at her.


	27. Mercury

_This Is Where_

* * *

**27\. Mercury**

"He's a madman," Lavender said hotly. "Crazy. I don't want to be taught by him."

"You're just mad that he yelled at you for not paying attention," Parvati replied amusedly.

"That is not true."

Parvati gave her a look.

"Okay, maybe it is," she admitted grudgingly. "A _little_ bit. But he's still crazy." Lavender looked down at her homework. "Hey, what does Mercury being in the first house mean?"

"Are you still working on your natal chart?"

"Yeah."

Parvati got off her bed and went over to Lavender, leaning over her. Lavender's heart rate increased when she could feel Parvati's chest pressing up against her back and fought to keep her mind from going fuzzy. Parvati reached across her and flipped a few pages in _Unfogging the Future_.

"Ah, there it is. Means you're lively and adaptable," she said, pulling away and going back to her bed.

Lavender breathed in slowly. "Yeah. Sounds about right."


	28. Hot

_This Is Where_

* * *

**28\. Hot**

"They're kind of..._hot_," Parvati said in disbelief as they sat at the Gryffindor table for the welcoming feast.

"Really?" Lavender craned her head to look at the Beauxbatons students sitting with Ravenclaw and the Durmstrang ones sitting with Slytherin. "I mean, they're not bad. Better than the boys here."

"No, not the boys. The _girls_."

Lavender's brows pushed together in confusion and turned to look at Parvati. Parvati was staring at a dark-haired Bulgarian girl across the hall. The girl looked up and caught Parvati's eye. She smiled a bit and waved. Parvati thrilled with excitement and waved back.

Lavender looked over and realized that the girls really were very pretty. She was about to ask what that meant, but just then Dumbledore started talking. She figured she could ask later.


	29. Dragons

_This Is Where_

* * *

**29\. Dragons**

"Allow me to introduce the first champion from Hogwarts - Hufflepuff's own Cedric Diggory, facing the Swedish Short-Snout! Now, ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to direct your attention to the golden egg. That is what our champions must get, they cannot continue the tournament without it! Points will be awarded for speed, proficiency, and method!"

Parvati clapped loudly, watching as Cedric Transfigured a rock into a Labrador.

"Oh, he's trying diversion," Hermione said from behind them. "Make the dragon pay attention to the dog rather than him."

"Poor dog," Lavender said softly.

Cedric kept making the dog go for the dragon at one side while he sneaked around the other side. It wasn't working very well; the dragon would just growl and the dog would take off running. Eventually he got close enough to the dragon to grab the egg and everybody started cheering, but it noticed him running away and blasted his back. The dragon keepers ran into the enclosure and started restraining the dragon. Wizards from the medical tent ran out to put out the fire and carry Cedric in. He was howling with pain.

"Harry...Harry has to do _that?_" Ron whispered.

Parvati turned to look at him. He was white with fear and looked like he might be sick. Hermione was rolling her eyes in exasperation and Parvati remembered hearing her complaining that Harry and Ron were feuding. Apparently Ron didn't believe that Harry didn't put his name in. It seemed like Ron believed him now.

"Bet Madam Pomfrey's really pleased," Lavender murmured. "Dementors last year, now dragons this year? Wonder what sort of monster we'll have to deal with next year."

Parvati laughed as Ludo Bagman introduced Fleur Delacour.

Fleur was standing off to the side, a determined look on her face as she tried charming the dragon. The dragon's eyelids started to droop and it lowered its head onto the ground. It was still curled protectively around the eggs, though. Fleur moved forward slowly, wand still trained on the dragon, and crept around its head. She lost her balance and kicked the dragon's toe, waking it from its doze. She ran quickly away and started again. This time it left the eggs a little more exposed. Fleur ran up just as the dragon snorted, setting her skirt on fire. Fleur still ran up and grabbed the egg, putting her skirt out as she ran away.

"So she's not all looks," Parvati murmured, leaning forward to watch Fleur disappear into the medical tent. "Pretty _and_ smart."

She didn't noticed Lavender staring at her with a conflicted expression.

"And here comes Mr. Krum!" Bagman shouted. "Our Durmstrang champion is facing the Chinese Fireball! And - why, he's off!"

Krum had shot a spell right at the dragon's eye and it started screaming and moving around. It crushed some of the real eggs and the crowd murmured in remorse. Krum ran forward without hesitation and dodged the dragon's feet, scooping up the egg and immediately running the other way.

"Oh no," Lavender breathed.

Parvati turned and saw what she meant: they were bringing in the last dragon, the one Harry had to face. This one looked more vile and dangerous than any of the previous.

"How can they make him face that one?!" Hermione hissed angrily. "That's a Hungarian Horntail! It's the most dangerous dragon there is and - and he's the youngest champion!"

Ron looked like he was about to pass out from worry.

They cheered loudly in support as Harry stepped into the enclosure looking grim but determined. He held up his wand and shouted something and then just stood there as if waiting.

"Please oh please oh please," Hermione was whispering, her hand clasped together.

Suddenly Harry's broom came whizzing through the air and he hopped on to it, taking to the sky. They watched with bated breath as Harry egged the dragon on, dodging jets of fire. His shoulder got hit by its spiked tail but he kept going. He teased and teased the dragon until finally it tried to take flight, and then he took his opportunity and zoomed downwards, grabbing up the egg and flying off before the dragon could realize what had just happened.

"He did it!" Hermione screamed as she crowd burst into cheers. "He did it, _and_ he was the fastest - come on, Ron, let's go see him!"

They got up and ran from the stands. Parvati and Lavender hugged each other tightly. Neville had passed out when Harry got hit and was asking what had happened. Dean and Seamus were talking about making banners for a party in the common room.

"I hope all the tasks are this exciting," Parvati said eagerly.

"I don't," said Neville, rubbing the spot where he'd hit his head when he fell over. "That was terrifying, and I wasn't even out there!"


	30. Bisexual

_This Is Where_

* * *

**30\. Bisexual**

"Parvati! Par! Are you in here?" Lavender shouted as she ran up into the dormitory.

"Here, here, what is it?" Parvati asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Seamus just asked me to the ball," she said, jumping onto Parvati's bed.

Parvati's eyebrows raised. "Oh! That's great! How did he ask you?"

"He didn't do anything special if that's what you mean," she said. "He was waiting for Dean by the statue of Wilfred the Wistful and just asked me. Seemed really anxious about it."

"I'm happy for you, Lav," Parvati said. "Do you like him?"

Lavender thought a moment. "No, I don't think so. But he is really nice. Has anyone asked you yet?"

"No, not yet," Parvati said.

"Are you thinking of asking anyone?"

"I'm not sure."

Lavender's mind flashed to the Bulgarian girl Parvati had waved at the first day the visiting students had arrived. Something in her stomach twisted painfully.

"Par? Can I...can I ask you something?" she asked, her voice timid.

"Of course."

"Do you, um...do you fancy girls?"

Parvati stiffened and Lavender instantly panicked. She shouldn't have said anything. She should've kept her mouth shut. It wasn't any of her business, it was rude to ask -

"I think I do," Parvati mumbled, rising to her feet and pacing a bit. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. But I also really like boys, so, um, I think I'm - oh, what was the word?" She thought for a moment. "Bisexual."

Lavender took a moment to swallow this. "So you like boys _and_ girls?"

"Yeah," Parvati said, and she smiled at the floor a bit. She looked up with a worried expression. "That doesn't mean I'm going to hit on you or anything, I mean I'm still the same me I just - "

Her gut twisted again. "No, no, I get it. Nothing's changed." Except she felt like something had. "Are you going to ask a girl to the ball?"

Parvati thought for a bit. "No, probably not. I don't think Hogwarts is quite ready for same-sex dates. If it were, I think Seamus would've asked - " But she stopped at the expression on Lavender's face.

"What do you mean?" Lavender asked. "Do you mean he doesn't - "

"I didn't mean anything by it, I'm sorry. You're right, Seamus is a nice bloke. He wouldn't have asked you if he didn't want to go with you," Parvati said quickly. "Don't worry about it."

But Lavender _was_ worrying about it. What had Parvati been about to say?

"And, um, thanks," Parvati said quietly, causing Lavender to look up at her. "Thanks for not freaking out about the bisexual thing."

Lavender managed a smile. "Of course."

* * *

Hello friends! I just wanted to pop in here and say that writing this fic actually helped me to accept my own bisexuality! =D And also, I know that many prefer the definition of bisexuality to mean attraction to genders same and different than your own in an effort to be inclusive to other gendes, but keep in mind that this is set in 1994 and it probably still meant attraction to boys and girls then

Please review!

~Ki


	31. Bathroom

_This Is Where_

* * *

**31\. Bathroom**

"Hermione! Let us in!" Parvati shouted, banging on their dormitory's bathroom door.

"Sorry, all full! No room!" came Hermione's shrill cry from the other side of the door.

"No room?" Lavender repeated incredulously. "You're the only one in there!"

"Sorry!" she repeated.

"You've been in there for an hour already!" Parvati complained.

"Go use another bathroom!"

Lavender shook her head in annoyance. "Come on, let's go see if the third years' bathroom is open."

Parvati sighed and picked up her dress and makeup and hair supplies, then together they went downstairs and knocked on the third year girls' door. Ginny opened.

"Hermione's hogging our bathroom," Parvati explained. "Can we use yours?"

"Yes, of course," Ginny said, stepping aside.

The third years' dorm looked exactly the same as theirs except with different belongings strewn across it.

"The others are off sulking because I'm the only one who got a date," Ginny said as they walked to the bathroom, "so it's just us."

"Who are you going with?" Lavender asked, zipping open her makeup pag.

"Neville." She said it in a way that sounded as if she was expecting to be made fun of. Her brown eyes were hard with defiance.

"Good for you," Parvati said, and Ginny smiled gratefully.

"Look!" Lavender said, pulling something out of her bag. "I got new lash-lengthening mascara from Mum for Christmas!"

"Brilliant!" said Parvati.

"Be careful," Ginny warned. "Natalie McDonald used some of that stuff and her eyelashes grew three feet before they could stop them."

Lavender eyed the mascara. "I'll chance it."

A couple of hours and a lot of laughs later, they were ready.

"Come on out!" Parvati called.

Ginny came out of the bathroom and did a little twirl. Parvati and Lavender clapped appreciatively. She was wearing a pretty light blue dress and had pinned hair up in a bun.

"My turn!" Lavender said, jumping up and running into the bathroom to change. She came out wearing a burgundy dress with a matching bow in her curled blonde hair. Something in Parvati's stomach tugged at the sight of her - she looked stunning - but she ignored it.

"Alright, mortals, time to unveil the goddess," Parvati said, winking at them over her shoulder.

She closed the door behind her and slipped into her bright pink sari-style dress. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled, particularly pleased with how the gold strands shimmered in her braid. She was sure to turn heads in this. And she was going with Harry Potter, so all eyes would be on her anyway.

"Ready?" she called.

"Come on!" Ginny said.

Parvati opened the bathroom door and gave her brightest smile. Ginny applauded quickly, but Lavender stared open-mouthed for a moment before clapping too.

"You look...amazing, Par," Lavender said.

"I know," Parvati replied.

Lavender rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"Okay, ladies," Parvati said with a wink. "Let's go get our men."


	32. Ball

_This Is Where_

* * *

**32\. Ball**

Lavender felt like the ball was off to a rocky start. Padma didn't seem too happy to be going with Ron, who didn't seem too happy to be going with Padma. Something was up with Dean and Seamus; they hadn't spoken a word to each other, and Dean had put his date Eloise Midgen between him and Seamus. She also felt like Dean was maybe mad at her for some reason. Neville and Ginny were as awkward as could be. Hermione looked unrecognizable sitting with Viktor Krum at the top table; now Lavender knew why she'd taken so long in the bathroom. And Lavender kept getting strange butterflies whenever she looked up and saw Parvati sitting with Harry.

Dinner was a silent affair at their table since nobody really had anything to say. Lavender was glad for the distraction of the Weird Sisters, but then had to watch as Parvati, who was positively glowing, dragged Harry around the dance floor. Harry looked like he wanted to sink into the floor and disappear, but Parvati was loving the attention, if not her dance partner. Lavender's eyes kept trailing involuntarily to Parvati's hips.

"Come on, le's go," said Seamus abruptly, rising from his seat.

"Oh, I - " But he'd already taken her hand and was following Dean and Eloise to the floor. Neville and Ginny got up too, and Lavender saw Padma glare expectantly at Ron, but his narrowed gaze was fixed firmly upon Hermione and Krum.

Seamus was hardly paying attention to her as they danced. He kept turning his head to look at Dean and Eloise, and Lavender was starting to understand what Parvati had been about to say in the dorms a few days ago. So in revenge Lavender kept turning her head to look at Parvati and Harry. She was filled with conflict, though. Why did Parvati in her dress give her butterflies, but not Seamus in his dress robes?

As soon as the song ended Harry quickly left the floor and Parvati followed with a disappointed look on her face. Lavender watched as a Beauxbatons boy asked her to dance and she left with him. After a few moments Padma left Ron and they were both dancing with French boys, but Lavender saw Parvati make eye contact with the Bulgarian girl. A flash of jealousy rushed through her.

"Um, Seamus?" she said, coming to a stand still.

He blinked his eyes away from Dean, who was escorting Eloise out of the hall, and looked at her in confusion. "What is it?"

"I'm, um, I'm gonna go dance with someone else for a bit," she said, feeling bad. "Is that okay?"

"Oh, yeah, fine. Sorry 'm not a good dancer," he said, cringing self-deprecatingly.

"It's not that, I, uh...just saw this really cute Durmstrang boy," she lied.

He grinned. "Good on ye, Lav. Go get him."

She blushed and he squeezed her arm and they separated. Instead, she went over to where Parvati and Padma were. The twins looked exact opposites of each other, yet radiant in their own ways. Padma's dress was turquoise and her hair was braided with silver. Where Padma had a soft grace about her, Parvati was blazing with energy. They were like the sun and the moon.

"What happened to Harry?" Lavender asked, forcing her way through the circle of boys that had formed around the twins.

"What happened to Seamus?" Parvati countered.

"He kept staring at Dean," Lavender replied with a shrug.

"Ah well, boys will be boys!" She leaned in. "Or _do_ boys." She covered her mouth as if shocked at her own daring and they both giggled.

"So what about Harry?"

"He didn't want to dance," Parvati said. She twirled about with her hands in the air. "And I was _born _to dance! So I ditched him," she ended with a shrug.

They laughed again and the Weird Sisters started playing a much faster tune. Parvati slung her arms around Lavender and Padma's waists.

"Come on, girls, let's dance until our feet fall off!" she declared.


	33. Stupid

_This Is Where_

* * *

**33\. Stupid**

By the time the ball was over, they nearly had danced their feet off. Lavender's feet were aching when she and Parvati finally made it back to the common room with Fay and Ginger. They walked upstairs and opened the door and found, to their surprise, Hermione crying her eyes out on her bed. Hermione sat up, appeared for a moment like she was trying to control herself and then burst out,

"Boys are so...so..._stupid!_"

Then she let out another wail and collapsed back down on the bed, shoulders shaking.

The four girls all exchanged looks and then moved forward. Fay and Ginger helped Hermione sit up and started to soothingly rub her back. Lavender took her hair down and began to gently brush it out. Parvati lifted Hermione's chin and began to take her makeup off with a wipe. Once Hermione had calmed down they helped her out of her dress and into her pajamas and then tucked her into bed.

After the rest of them had all gotten ready for bed and the lamps were blown out, Lavender heard a small voice to her left say, "Thank you."


	34. Remember

_This Is Where_

* * *

**34\. Remember**

"The Triwizard Tournament's aim was to further and promote magical understanding. In the light of what has happened - of Lord Voldemort's return - such ties are more important than ever before."

Lavender stared down at the table. She couldn't bring herself to look at Dumbledore just like she couldn't bring herself to believe that You-Know-Who was back and that he had killed Cedric. But whatever happened, Cedric was gone. It was like the man next door all over again: one day Cedric was smiling and talking to his friends in the corridors and going to class and the next day he just...wasn't.

"Every guest in this Hall will be welcomed back here at any time should they wish to come. I say to you all once again - in the light of Lord Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. Lord Voldemort's gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts open."

Parvati covered Lavender's hand with hers and squeezed. Goose bumps rose on the back of Lavender's neck.

_Friendship and trust._

Lavender couldn't focus on friendship and trust if she kept focusing on whatever it was about Parvati that was affecting her so. She had to forget about it, whatever _it_ was. It was just a phase she was going through. She couldn't let it control her or get in the way of their friendship. She couldn't dwell. She had to forget about it.

"It is my belief - and never have I so hoped that I am mistaken - that we are all facing dark and difficult times. Some of you in this Hall have already suffered directly at the hands of Lord Voldemort. A week ago, a student was taken from our midst."

Tears rose in her eyes and she squeezed Parvati's hand back.

"Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort."

Chills broke out across her body.

"Remember Cedric Diggory."

As if any of them could ever forget.


	35. Believe

_This Is Where_

* * *

**35\. Believe**

"Go be smart," Parvati said.

"And you go be brave," Padma finished.

It was their new deal: they'd be counterparts that completed each other instead of exact copies of the other. It was a much better agreement than the one they had before, allowing them to be who they really were. After much deliberation Parvati had revealed her newfound sexuality to Padma over the summer, and to her immense relief Padma accepted it easily and in turn revealed that she felt she was asexual. They still hadn't come out to their parents, but they figured that could wait.

The twins smiled at each other and hugged before going to their separate tables. Parvati sat with Lavender close to the middle of the table.

"So Padma's a prefect, then?" Lavender asked.

"Yeah, Ma and Papa were really pleased," Parvati replied.

"Are you upset that you're not?"

"Nah. I never wanted it, and let's be honest, it was always going to be Hermione," Parvati said with a shrug.

She truly didn't care. She was happy for her sister. A few years ago she would've been upset, back when she thought that they had to be identical in every way. But then, if they'd both ended up in Ravenclaw, only one of them could've been prefect.

"I suppose that's true." Lavender put her chin in her hand. Today she was sporting a blue bow with little white stars. It was drooping a little because it had gotten wet in the downpour outside. "I have to admit I'm surprised Ron made prefect."

"I thought it would be Harry."

"Me too." Lavender looked around and then leaned forward. "Do you think what they're saying about him is true?"

Parvati frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You know, that he's doing all of this for attention, that he's lying about You-Know-Who."

"If You-Know-Who isn't back, then who killed Cedric?" Parvati asked coolly.

Lavender flinched. "I'm - I don't - Maybe Harry was confused."

"Maybe he was, but Dumbledore believes him," Parvati said. "And I trust Dumbledore."

"But the _Prophet_'s saying that Dumbledore's on his way out too," Lavender continued. "They're taking away all of his positions. Mum says he's not on the Wizengamot anymore - oh! Did you know Harry had a hearing?"

"_What?_"

Lavender nodded. "Yeah. Underage magic in front of a Muggle. Claimed dementors attacked him and his cousin in Little Whinging so he used a Patronus."

"That's bizarre."

"Mum believed him and so did most of the court, so he got off free, but I'm not sure."

Something was itching at Parvati, though. "But why would he lie - oh, hello Harry! Had a good summer?" she said jubilantly.

Lavender jumped and turned around to give the trio a smile as they sat down. "Hello, how was the train? The rain's dreadful, isn't it?"

Harry looked at them suspiciously and Parvati's stomach panged with guilt, but she shrugged it off. But she couldn't shrug off the thoughts that Lavender had expressed. Something fishy was going on, and she was inclined to believe that the _Daily Prophet _was not being exactly truthful these days. And what reason would Harry and Dumbledore have to lie? Did they just want to scare people for kicks? No, that wasn't like them.

Whatever else was happening, Parvati knew one thing for sure: she believed in Harry Potter.

She just wouldn't go with him to another ball for all the galleons in the world.


	36. Meeting

_This Is Where_

* * *

**36\. Meeting**

"Come on, Lav, let's just go to the meeting," Parvati said. "See what it's all about."

"I just...I'm not sure about this," Lavender mumbled.

"Everyone's going."

"Fay and Ginger aren't going."

"Okay, so not _everyone_, but they never go to anything," Parvati said. "And I'm not asking Fay and Ginger to go, I'm asking you," she insisted.

Lavender cast a despairing look at the Hog's Head. Its windows were so dirty you couldn't even see inside. "Oh, can't we just go to Zonko's?"

"No," Parvati replied firmly. "Umbridge is a useless old bat and I want to learn magic, not theories. Besides, this is our O.W.L. year! Do you want to get a T?"

"Of course I don't!" Lavender exclaimed. She fidgeted for a moment in deliberation before sighing dramatically. "Oh fine, you win. Let's go to the stupid meeting."

"Brilliant," Parvati said triumphantly, looping arms with Lavender and joining the group that was waiting for them outside of the dirty pub.


	37. Natural

_This Is Where_

* * *

**37\. Natural**

"And where have you been?"

Parvati froze as she entered the common room. It was empty aside from Lavender, who was standing by the fireplace with her hands on her hips.

"Out walking," Parvati said. "Sorry if I worried you."

"You've been out walking a lot lately," Lavender said stiffly, then quickly deflated. The angry mom act didn't suit her. "Are you keeping something from me?"

Guilt flooded Parvati's gut. She let out a sigh and went over to Lavender, tugging on her wrist so they both sat on the ground.

"You can't tell anyone," Parvati whispered, looking around. "I've been...I've been making out with Tracey Davis."

Lavender's eyes widened. "But she's a Slytherin!"

"She's also a really good kisser," said Parvati, resisting the urge to giggle.

Lavender looked shell-shocked.

"Okay, okay, so it started when she cornered me after Potions last week," Parvati started, but she didn't notice that Lavender wasn't listening.

"Par," she interrupted.

Parvati turned to her. "What is it?"

"Is it..." Her pulse thrummed in her neck. "Is it _okay_ to like girls?"

"What do you mean?"

Lavender flashed back to the conversation she'd had with her parents over the summer, when she'd casually mentioned having a friend that was bisexual. Her parents hadn't reacted the best.

"It's just unnatural," her mother had said simply.

"Darling, perhaps it's best if you don't hang out with this friend anymore," said her father. "Don't want you being influenced by that type of lifestyle."

"Oh, it's not your Indian friend, is it?" asked Mrs. Brown with a frown. "I liked her."

Fear had flooded Lavender. "No, no it's not Parvati," she lied quickly.

"Good. Dear, could you pass the paper?"

"I just mean," Lavender said, coming back to the present, "that some people think it's wrong. Girls liking girls and boys liking boys."

Parvati pondered for a moment. "I don't see what's wrong about it. I'm not harming anyone."

"What do your parents think?"

"I haven't told them yet, but they've never told me that it's wrong," Parvati said.

Lavender chewed her lip. "So you don't think it's...unnatural?"

Parvati observed her for a heart-stopping moment and then shrugged. "There's a saying in India, what is unnatural is also natural. The way I see it, love is natural. What could be more natural than love?"

* * *

And to all my aromantics, not feeling love is also natural =)

~Ki


	38. Thestrals

_This Is Where_

* * *

**38\. Thestrals**

Suddenly the meat from the carcass started being ripped off, disappearing into nothing. Parvati's insides froze. Oh, what had Hagrid gotten them into this time?

"What's doing it?" she asked. "What's eating it?"

"Thestrals," Hagrid replied with a smile.

Parvati straightened with realization. She turned to Lavender but saw that her friend's eyes were fixed firmly on the ground.

"Lav - " she started, but Lavender shook her head minutely.

"I don't want them to know," Lavender whispered, and Parvati understood.

"But they're really, really unlucky!" Parvati said shrilly, trying to get attention off of Lavender. "They're supposed to bring all sorts of horrible misfortune on people who see them." She felt awful for saying this with Lavender right beside her. "Professor Trelawney told me once - " she lied.

"No, no, no," said Hagrid, and he began to explain but Parvati wasn't listening.

She felt Lavender shrink back behind her and Parvati felt _something_ pass by. She backed up with Lavender up to a tree.

"I think I felt something, I think it's near me!" Parvati exclaimed.

Hagrid seemed almost amused. "Don' worry, it won' hurt yeh. Righ', now, who can tell me why some o' you can see them an' some can't?"

Naturally it was Hermione who answered: "The only people who can see thestrals are people who have seen death."

Parvati felt Lavender shiver.

The rest of the lesson passed without Parvati having to make any more exclamations thanks to Umbridge's appearance. Parvati spent the time trying to make sure that Lavender was okay, but Lavender had gone sort of zombie-like. Her eyes weren't focused and she just stood there not reacting to anything that happened.

"Lavender, what - " she tried when they were finally walking back to the castle.

Lavender whirled around, hair flying with the force of her tone.

"I don't want them to know!" she exclaimed with a kind of fury in her voice. "You saw how Umbridge asked Neville who he'd seen die! You saw how the Slytherins looked at Theodore Nott when he raised his hand. You see how people treat Harry, knowing that he saw Cedric die."

Parvati's insides wrenched painfully. She'd never thought of it like that.

"What if Umbridge had asked me? What if someone else did later?" Lavender's eyes were sparkling with tears. "They'd never let me forget it, never let me move on. They'd force me to dwell on it, and I can't do that!"

"I'm sorry, I know you can't, I'm sorry," Parvati said softly, going forward and putting her arms around her. "It's your secret. You have the right to keep it."

"Thanks for covering for me," Lavender mumbled after a moment.

"Of course," Parvati said.

"Oy, don' get too far behind!" Hagrid called.

"Coming!" Parvati called. She pulled away from Lavender. "Let's go back, yeah?"

Lavender smiled. "Yeah."


	39. Floozy

_This Is Where_

* * *

**39\. Floozy**

"Out again?"

Lavender frowned as Parvati shot her an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

"No you're not," Lavender muttered.

"Excuse me?"

Lavender glared at her. "Dumbledore's gone, the D.A.'s finished, Umbridge is headmistress, O.W.L.'s are coming up, Trelawney was _sacked_ \- and all you can think about it sneaking out and snogging someone? Who was it this time? Let's see, it was Sue Li last week and Oliver Rivers the week before - "

"What's your point?" Parvati asked, her voice low.

Lavender felt a little apprehensive, felt her resolve going, but pressed on. "Don't you think you're...you're, um, acting a bit like a floozy?"

_"A floozy?!"_ Parvati exclaimed. "Is Ginny a floozy for dating Michael Corner?"

"No, but - "

"Was Cho a floozy for dating Cedric?"

"Of course not - "

"What about Percy Weasley and Penelope - "

_"No!"_

"Then why am I?" Parvati finished, folding her arms.

"Because...because you're not dating anyone!" Lavender exclaimed. "You're just going around looking for the next snog of the week!"

"And that's my choice," Parvati replied. "I'm not dating anyone because I don't _want_ to date anyone. I'm just having a bit of fun. I could have a boyfriend or girlfriend in a heartbeat if I wanted one, unlike you."

Lavender's heart dropped out of her chest. "Excuse me?"

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Parvati asked. "Jealous that people like me, that people want to snog me. Have you ever even snogged anyone?"

Lavender balled her hands into fists.

"You know what, Parvati?" she said coldly. "Sometimes you can be a real bitch."

Parvati's jaw dropped.

"And I can get a boyfriend! Just you wait!" she exclaimed. "I'll get...I'll get..." Her mind raced wildly. "Ron Weasley! Yeah, I'll get Ron."

Parvati deflated. "Lav, listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean - "

"No, you'll see," Lavender said, a sort of manic energy filling her. "I'll start next year. Just you wait. Next year he'll be mine."


	40. Studying

_This Is Where_

* * *

**40\. Studying**

There was no talking Lavender out of going after Ron Weasley. Every time Parvati brought it up Lavender just brushed her off, saying that they had to focus on studying for O.W.L.'s. The most Parvati could hope for was that she would forget about it over the summer. But speaking of studying...

"Ha! I win again!" Lavender exclaimed.

It was Sunday night and O.W.L.'s were going to start tomorrow. Almost all the fifth years were gathered in the common room doing some last minute studying, and nobody else entered for fear of disturbing them and suffering their wrath.

She and Lavender were making their pencil cases race around the table and Lavender had just won for the fifth time in a row. Seamus was lying on the floor reciting definitions with his legs draped across Dean's lap while Dean checked the answers in the book. Ron was studying Charms, his fingers plugged up in his ears. Harry was supposed to be quizzing Hermione but she kept taking the book from him to check the answers herself. Fay and Ginger were up in the dormitory; they didn't like studying around other people. Parvati assumed that Neville was down in the greenhouses as Professor Sprout had given him special access to the greenhouses at all times during the day so long as he wasn't skipping classes or out past curfew.

"Lav, do you wanna - "

"Isn't he adorable?" Lavender asked, looking over at Ron.

His face was almost as red as his hair from concentrating too hard.

"Positively," Parvati said sarcastically, something like anger filling her stomach. "Now let's look over the Color-Change Charm..."


	41. Limited

_This Is Where_

* * *

**41\. Limited**

"Well damn," Parvati said with casual disappointment, folding the _Daily_ _Prophet_, whose headline read: HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED RETURNS. "We were supposed to go visit India this summer. I guess that trip is cancelled."

Lavender stared at her, dumbfounded. "How can you be so nonchalant about this?"

"There's no point in dwelling on it."

Lavender blushed, hearing her own words thrown back at her.

Parvati smiled. "This is just the way things are now, I guess. Our parents survived it last time. We can this time too."

"So until then we just wait around for Harry to save the day?" Lavender asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's right!"

They smiled at each other and then laughed, but Lavender couldn't help but feel like their laughs were now limited.


	42. Support

_This Is Where_

* * *

**42\. Support**

"You're not really still on about this, are you?" Parvati asked tiredly, leaning against the sink. She'd hoped that Lavender would've dropped this crazy idea over the summer.

"Of course I am," Lavender said briskly. "I really like him, you know."

Parvati rolled her eyes, feeling annoyed. "But aren't he and Hermione a thing?"

Lavender looked up at her. "What are you talking about? They're not together." She paused. "_Are_ they?"

"Well, not officially or anything..."

"So they're not," Lavender said, turning back to the mirror and dabbing on some of the Weasley twins' acne cream. "Besides, they fight all the time."

"Yeah but that's how they flirt, isn't it?"

Lavender glared at her and Parvati instantly regretted saying it. She was just having trouble believing that Lavender actually liked Ron. The two had hardly talked in the past five years of going to Hogwarts and Lavender had never before expressed an interest in him. It was only after their stupid fight that she declared her supposed feelings.

"Are you going to support me in this or aren't you?" Lavender demanded.

Parvati sighed. She felt uncomfortable and almost nauseous, but -

"Yes, Lav, I'll support you," she said. "What are best friends for?"

Lavender studied her for a moment and then smiled. "Wonderful! Have you tried this acne cream? It's brilliant! I don't know how Ron's brothers come up with this stuff...maybe he inherited some brilliance too! Wouldn't surprise me..."

But Parvati had tuned out.


	43. Nervous

_This Is Where_

* * *

**43\. Nervous**

"Did you get a letter too?"

Lavender and Parvati looked up to see Padma standing before them. They'd just been gossiping about Dean and Ginny, the out-of-nowhere couple that nobody had expected, and were watching them where they sat next to a disgruntled Seamus. Padma's nostrils were flared in carefully controlled anger and she was clutching what looked like a crumpled letter in her hand.

Parvati nodded slowly. "Yes." She gestured to the folded letter stuck beneath her plate.

"What do you think?"

Lavender was confused. She stared at Parvati, but Parvati was staring down at her lap in thought.

"I think they're wrong," she said after a moment.

Padma nodded and relief filled her dark brown eyes. "I agree."

"Do you want to write back or shall I?" Parvati asked.

"I'll do it," Padma replied. "I'm better with words."

Parvati rolled her eyes as Padma winked and walked back to the Ravenclaw table.

"What was that about?" Lavender demanded.

"Read it for yourself," Parvati said, indicating the letter.

Lavender hesitated, then pulled the letter out from under Parvati's plate. She opened it quickly, her eyes scanning the parchment, and then her jaw dropped in horror.

"Your parents want you to go home?!" she exclaimed.

Parvati nodded. "They're getting nervous. Ma wants to leave the country before things get too bad. Papa thinks we all should leave."

"But...but you can't!" Lavender said, wringing her hair with worry. "Hogwarts is the safest place for you!"

"I know that," Parvati replied. "But I don't want to be separated from my family either."

"So what did you and Padma decide?" Lavender asked. She was trying not to panic, trying not to imagine a Hogwarts without Parvati, trying not to think about how in the world she could survive without her best friend. She was failing.

"We're staying here for the foreseeable future," Parvati said.

Lavender felt dizzy as all of her anxiety rushed out of her. "Oh thank Merlin."

Parvati laughed. "Worried I would leave you?"

"A bit," Lavender admitted grudgingly.

Parvati smiled. "Well I'm not going anywhere. You're my family too, you know."

Lavender smiled back. "Good."


	44. Bolder

_This Is Where_

* * *

**44\. Bolder**

"He completely ignored me!" Lavender despaired as they walked down to the Quidditch Pitch.

"He's just nervous because of the game," Pavati said. "It doesn't mean anything."

"I thought he might notice me more now that he and Hermione are fighting again," Lavender mumbled. She'd never before held any animosity toward her dormmate, but now the mere thought of the bushy-haired girl sent rage flowing through her veins.

"Listen, you've just got to be bolder," Parvati said. "Make your intentions clear."

"Bolder. Right." Lavender slumped down into her seat, staring out at the pitch. "This oughta be fun."

But as it turned out, it _was_ fun. Ron didn't let a single Quaffle in and they won the match. Seamus had declared that they were going to have a party, and Lavender knew it was time to make her move.

_Bolder_, she thought. _Just be bolder, then you'll show Parvati..._

"Hey, Ron?" she said timidly, approaching where he stood at the side being congratulated by everyone. "You were really fantastic out there."

He grinned at her. "Thanks, Lavender."

She smiled back, took a breath, then reached forward and put her hand behind his neck. He looked bewildered as she pulled him down and mashed their lips together, but he responded passionately once he realized what was going on. Triumph filled her body as Ron's arms wrapped around her. She had won.


	45. Reasons

_This Is Where_

* * *

**45\. Reasons**

Things in the dormitory had gotten...tense, to say the least. Lavender and Hermione could hardly be in the same room as each other without one of them storming out after five seconds. Hermione looked permanently livid whereas Lavender's face had gone permanently smug. Fay and Ginger had taken to staying out of the dormitory as much as possible so as to avoid them. Parvati had no choice but to put up with it. The thing Parvati disliked most was that she'd never had any issues with Hermione, but because she was Lavender's best friend Hermione was just as mad at her.

She'd hoped that maybe things would calm down after Christmas break, but...no.

"Something's changed, I know it!" Lavender said fiercely as she paced back and forth. "Hermione got to him somehow."

"How do you figure that?" Parvati said tiredly. "They're still not talking."

"Well, he's not kissing the same. And he walked with Harry instead of me on the way to Charms. And he's not wearing the necklace I got him for Christmas! I asked him about it and he said it must've gotten lost, but I know he got it."

"Wait." Parvati sat up on her bed. "You got him a _necklace_ for Christmas?"

Lavender fidgeted. "Yeah. It was, um, gold and said, er...'My Sweetheart.'"

Parvati burst out laughing and Lavender folded her arms in annoyance.

"I'm sorry, but...no bloke in his right mind is ever going to wear a - " She giggled again. " - a necklace that says 'My Sweetheart.'"

"I thought he'd like it," said Lavender defensively.

"Did you even ask him what he wanted for Christmas?"

"No, we...we didn't talk about it." She paused. "We don't really talk much."

"Did he get you anything?"

She pursed her lips. "No."

Parvati sighed. "Lav, I think you're more invested in this relationship than he is. It might be time to break it off."

Lavender looked scandalized. "What?! No! No, this is...this is just a rough patch. It's nothing we can't get through."

Irritation the likes of which she'd never felt before flooded through Parvati. "Why are you even doing this, Lavender? You've proved your point, you can get a boyfriend. Now let it go."

"No! I like him, I really like him!" Lavender exclaimed.

"All you do is snog!" Parvati countered. "Do you even _know_ him?"

"You're just jealous!" Lavender's voice had gone shrill.

Parvati's eyes narrowed coldly. "I hope you know what an idiot you sound like right now."

Lavender's eyes filled with tears. She looked like a trapped wild animal. Her bow was falling out of her hair and her cheeks had gone splotchy. In mere moments all of Parvati's righteous anger left her and she was left only with sympathy. She went forward to hug Lavender, ignoring the hurt that she felt when Lavender flinched away from her.

"I'm sorry," Parvati said quietly, her arms falling back to her sides. "I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have said those things. I just...I hope you're in the relationship for the right reasons."

"Well don't worry," Lavender replied stiffly. "I am."


	46. Honest

_This Is Where_

* * *

**46\. Honest**

"Lavender? Lav!"

"I'm still not talking to you," Lavender said angrily as Parvati burst into the dormitory.

"Well I'm calling a ceasefire," Parvati replied, breathless. "It's Ron."

Lavender looked up, confused. "What about him?"

"I just heard Harry and Hermione talking...he's in the hospital wing. He's been poisoned."

"Why...why didn't they tell me?!" Lavender exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine, he's on bed rest," Parvati said. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Lavender opened her mouth to accept, then remembered that they were fighting. "No, I'll be fine."

Parvati looked away and nodded. Lavender almost felt bad, but shrugged it off as she went to leave. She paused by the doorway.

"Thanks, Parvati," she said, then left.

Moments later she found herself at Ron's bedside, but he was asleep. His face looked sallow and there was a sheen of sweat across his forehead. His eyes were squeezed shut like he was in pain.

As Lavender looked over him, if she were being honest with herself, she would say that she felt no more connected to him than she did to any stranger that she passed in the corridors. She didn't even really like snogging him. It was too much work, too much effort, too much thinking. And she was always nervous around him, always trying to find the right thing to say. If she were being honest, she would admit that she was miserable with him.

But Lavender wasn't being honest. In fact, she hadn't been honest with herself in several years.


	47. Admit

_This Is Where_

* * *

**47\. Admit**

"Hey, um, Lav?"

Lavender sighed and pulled her arms back from around Ron's neck.

"What is it?" she asked, feigning a cheery voice.

"I've been thinking - "

"Oh! I just remembered I have to meet someone at the library," she said, scrambling out of his lap. "I'll see you later Won-Won!"

She stooped down and pecked him quickly, then sped back up to the castle, leaving Ron confused. Lately whenever Ron interrupted a snogging session to say he'd been thinking he usually suggested that they should take a break. _A break._

Lavender didn't know what she was doing wrong. She was attentive, snogged him all the time, gave him a pet name...what more could she do? She was beginning to feel frantic, like she was falling apart at the seams. There was so much nervous energy built up in her that she was going crazy. She couldn't focus on anything in school. She was frazzled all the time.

She didn't know what she would do if things with Ron didn't work out. Because if she couldn't be with Ron - who was kind, generous, and good - then who _could_ she be with? If she couldn't be with Ron, if she couldn't make herself feel attraction to him, then she would have to admit -

Her eyes burned. No. There was no admitting anything because there was nothing to admit.

Parvati looked up when Lavender entered the dormitory, and from the look on her face Lavender could tell that the girl knew she was on the verge of tears. But Lavender didn't want to hear it. Lavender couldn't even look at her right now because she was making everything so much harder. Parvati Patil with her long dark hair and pretty eyes, the way she smelled like spices without wearing any perfume, the feel of her slender fingers on Lavender's wrist...

She climbed onto her bed and drew the curtains tight. And for a moment she had peace. But then -

"Lav?"

Lavender's chest felt hollow.

"I know that you're still really mad at me, and you have every right to be."

She didn't even know what she felt anymore. She didn't know _how_ to feel.

"And even if I'm not your best friend right now...you're still mine."

Everything inside her broke instantaneously as she cried silently for the first time in her life.

"So I'm here for you if you need me."

She needed so much, but she'd forgotten how to ask.


	48. Verdict

_This Is Where_

* * *

**48\. Verdict**

"I just don't know what to do anymore," Parvati finished sadly.

After watching Lavender get snubbed by Ron for what felt like the fiftieth time that day alone, Parvati couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't stand seeing Lavender's face crumple like that and not being able to do anything about it. So she went tearing through the corridors to find the one person she could talk to.

She'd never been in Ravenclaw Tower, but she knew where it was. She ran up the stairs and slammed the knocker, spitting out the answer to the riddle (Hey, Parvati was smart too) and rushing into the tower. Several people looked up and greeted her as her sister before realizing that her robes were trimmed with red.

Padma had listened patiently throughout Parvati's entire story. Since their decision to be separate people the twins hadn't been nearly as close as before. Being in different houses made it hard to find time to talk. But now they were talking and Parvati realized how much she missed her sister.

Padma got up off her bed and paced a little. Parvati sat and watched her. The Ravenclaw dormitories were light and airy as opposed to Gryffindor, which were closed and cozy. The beds had blue silk with bronze embroidery and the stone that made up the floor and walls was white instead of dark gray. The windows were also larger, and Parvati felt a comforting breeze blow over her as she waited for Padma's verdict.

"You can't control whether or not they break up," Padma said finally.

Parvati sighed. She knew that. She didn't like it, but she knew it.

"Either Ron or Lavender will end up breaking it off," Padma continued. "It's clear that neither of them is happy with the arrangement. They're just too cowardly to call it quits. And I thought you Gryffs were supposed to be brave."

"Ha ha," Parvati said dryly.

Padma smiled. "Kidding. Now, as for your friendship with Lavender..." Padma stopped walking and looked Parvati dead in the eyes. "I think you need to take a long, honest look at your relationship with her. Examine your feelings honestly."

What was that supposed to mean?

Padma was looking at her sympathetically. "In the mean time, all you can do is wait for her to come to you. It sounds like she's in a pretty fragile state right now, so she's going to be needing you soon."

Parvati heaved a sigh. "Okay. Thanks, Pad."

Padma sat down again and hugged Parvati tightly. "What else are sisters for?"


	49. Enough

_This Is Where_

* * *

**49\. Enough**

Lavender was at her wit's end. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff and all it would take for her to fall over would be just one gentle poke. All she wanted to do right now was crawl into bed and try not to feel dead.

But all of that vanished when she walked into the common room and saw Ron leaving the boys' dormitories with Hermione.

_Poke_

"What were you doing up there with _her?_" she screamed before she could stop herself.

Ron went as red as his hair. "No, we - Harry - nothing - it's not - " he sputtered, turning to Hermione for back-up, but the girl had mysteriously disappeared.

"_Don't you lie to me!_" she shrieked as Ginny and Dean entered the common room, also fighting. "I deserve the truth."

"We were just talking!" Ron exclaimed. "Honest!"

"Honest! You've never been honest with me!" She laughed humorlessly. "I have done everything - _everything_ \- to try to keep this relationship going! But nothing seems to work! Because...because you don't _want_ it to work, do you? You'd rather go run around with _Hermione!_"

Ron looked terrified, but didn't say anything. Didn't deny anything. A couple times his eyes flicked over to the portrait hole where Dean and Ginny were exchanging angry retorts, but he didn't dare try to brush off Lavender to help his sister. Meanwhile, the common room's attention was split between the two couples. Some people were going to give themselves whiplash, trying to keep up with both arguments at the same time.

Lavender shook her head. "I never even had a chance, did I? After all, who would want silly, stupid Lavender when they could have the brilliant Hermione!" She chewed her lip. "Well now you can have her! Because I deserve better than you, Ron Weasley! I deserve someone who'll love me! And you...I hope you get what you deserve!"

Ron held her eye contact for a moment longer and then looked away, seeming defeated.

She choked back a sob and then turned and fled through the portrait hole, past a shell-shocked Dean who'd just been broken up with. For all of the strong accusations and declarations Lavender had just made, she'd never felt weaker. She ran and ran through the corridors until she found a girls' bathroom and locked herself in a stall.

Why hadn't she been good enough?


	50. Love

_This Is Where_

* * *

**50\. Love**

Someone was crying in a bathroom. And Parvati had a sinking feeling that she knew who it was.

"Lav?" she said, pushing open the door.

The sniffling stopped. "Go away."

"I'm not leaving, Lav. I told you I'm here for you."

A stall door burst open. "I said GO AWAY!" Lavender shrieked, standing with her fists shaking and mascara running down her cheeks.

"What happened this time?" Parvati asked calmly.

Lavender put her face in her hands and sank down to her knees. Parvati went over and put a hand on Lavender's shoulder. To her surprise, the blonde leaned in to the touch. So Parvati put her arms around her. Lavender shook like a leaf in an autumn wind.

"I broke up with him," Lavender cried. "I just...I just broke up with him."

Parvati hummed soothingly under her breath, stroking Lavender's hair.

"Why couldn't...why couldn't I make him love me?" Lavender sobbed. "Why can't I be loved?"

Parvati's chest tightened with pain and she resisted the urge to hunt Ron Weasley down and tear him limb from limb.

"We can't make people love us, Lav. That's not how it works," Parvati replied. "But you _are_ capable of being loved, Lavender. You are so loved and you don't even know it."

Lavender didn't seem to hear. "It's all _her_ fault!" she said hotly. "It's Hermione's fault! That studious little bi - "

"It's not Hermione's fault," Parvati said patiently. "It's nobody's fault. You and Ron just didn't fit."

"We do fit!" Lavender exclaimed, pushing away from Parvati. She rose shakily to her feet and took a couple steps away. "We _do!_"

"If you really fit, then why have you been so miserable?" Parvati asked. "Why did you break up?"

"We're just - "

"_Don't_ say you're going through a rough patch," Parvati interrupted, that now-familiar irritation clouding her brain. "Rough patches don't last months, Lav."

"You don't know anything!" Lavender shrieked. "You've never been in a relationship!"

"I know enough to know when things aren't working!" Parvati sighed. "Lav, this...this thing, it's - it's killing you. You already broke up with him. Now it's time to let him go."

Lavender shook her head. "No, I...I love him. I love him!" she declared, a crazed look on her face.

"Oh, so it's _love_ now!" Parvati exclaimed with derision. "You're not in love, Lavender. Don't fool yourself."

"As if you know what love is," Lavender snapped.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Parvati whispered, then, before she knew what she was doing, she had reached for Lavender's face and was kissing her.

Something exploded in Parvati and she felt like she was a man in the desert taking his first sip of water, fulfilling a need she never knew she had, and she knew that this - _this_ was the answer to all her questions. This was love and anger and desperation all rolled into one. This was why she felt so angry about Ron and Lavender, so irritated at Lavender's supposed feelings, so bitter about being cut out.

Lavender tasted like caramels and tears, like something sweet and bitter at the same time. Parvati's fingers dug into her cheeks, aching for Lavender to be ever closer. Lavender's arms went around her, one tightly around Parvati's waist and the other scratched across her back. Parvati pushed her back until Lavender was against the sinks. She pulled her hands through Lavender's tangled hair and licked her way into Lavender's mouth, exploring to her heart's content. Lavender pressed herself up against Parvati, sucking lightly at Parvati's lower lip. Finally, when she felt like her heart was about to burst, Parvati pulled away.

For a moment they stared at each other, walls down for the first time in a long time. Parvati took a step back, and doing so was as painful as ripping off one her own limbs. Lavender stared at her with swollen lips and pupils blown wide. She looked stunned, almost catatonic.

"_That's_ love, Lavender," Parvati whispered, then she turned and left.


	51. Sorry

_This Is Where_

* * *

**51\. Sorry**

A month. An entire month had gone by since Parvati and Lavender had spoken to each other. They'd hardly even seen each other since the, er, _incident_ in the bathroom. Parvati had taken to spending a lot of time in Ravenclaw Tower with her sister, whereas Lavender had gone straight to Madam Pomfrey after the incident and demanded a therapist. She'd been going to the hospital wing three times a week since then.

Somehow after the incident a light had broken through the clouds she'd been living in and she realized that she was dwelling. Therapy was helping. She realized that she'd created this fantasy in which she and Ron would fall in love and that would solve all of her problems, but of course it wouldn't. She'd put the weight of all her hopes and fears onto one person and that wasn't fair. And in the process she'd lost him as a friend, destroyed any semblance of a friendship with the girl he was in love with, and pushed her best friend away from her.

"I think it's time for you to make amends," her therapist told her. "You know the people you've hurt. Now you've got to tell them you acknowledge that hurt and are sorry for it. They might not forgive you. They might not even listen. But you have to try."

Lavender had already written letters to Ron and Hermione and could only hope that they would open them and not throw them away or burn them before reading them. She was supposed to have done it in person, but Hermione hadn't made eye contact with her in six months, and she didn't think she could handle talking to Ron yet. But there was one person she had to talk to in person.

"Parvati?" she asked as she walked into the dormitory.

The Indian girl looked up with a carefully blank expression. Lavender's breath hitched in her chest. She hadn't expected Parvati to be here. She thought that she would have to look a little harder to find her, but no. Here she was.

"I'd like to talk to you, if that's alright," she said, closing the door behind her.

Parvati nodded but looked away.

Lavender swallowed. "I've, um, been seeing a therapist. And I'm better. Much better than I have been. And I wanted to say I'm sorry for the person I became. And that I'm sorry for how I treated you. You were only trying to help me and I punished you for it."

She waited for a response, but Parvati didn't even move a muscle.

"Well, that's all I wanted to say," Lavender said, blinking back the tears as she turned to go.

"I'm sorry too."

Lavender paused. "What?"

"I'm sorry too," Parvati repeated, meeting her eyes finally. "I'm sorry for the argument that made you go after Ron. I'm sorry that I wasn't more understanding. And...I'm sorry for kissing you."

There was one topic that hadn't been discussed in therapy, mainly because Lavender refused to talk whenever it was brought up: Lavender's feelings for Parvati and how they may possibly be more than friendly. Lavender shut down immediately if the therapist even so much as tiptoed near the topic. She wasn't ready to open that box, the box that she'd chained and padlocked shut back at the end of fourth year.

"Listen, I...I'm not like you," Lavender said shakily. "I'm not bisexual or...or anything. I'm straight. I like boys. I don't like girls."

"Yeah, except I don't think that's exactly true," Parvati interrupted with an impatient sigh.

Lavender went stiff with fear.

Parvati deflated and hunched her shoulders. "I'm sorry. Your sexuality is none of my business. It's for you to define. If you say you like boys, then you like boys. Fine."

She started to relax.

"But," Parvati stood up and Lavender's heart began to beat nervously, "if what you asked me in fifth year, about whether it's wrong to like girls, is any indication, then I guess your parents don't really approve of homosexuality or anything like that. So I think you're scared. Scared to admit what you really feel."

Lavender couldn't breathe.

"But that's your business," Parvati finished. She smiled. "I just want my best friend back."

Lavender's heart soared with joy.

"And I promise I won't kiss you again," she said, "unless you want me to."

"Unless I want you to?" Lavender echoed.

"That's right," Parvati said, nodding. "So, do we have a deal? Are we best friends again?"

Lavender shook herself out of her thoughts and smiled. "I don't think we ever really stopped."


	52. Bad

_This Is Where_

* * *

**52\. Bad**

"Are you okay?" Parvati whispered.

Lavender nodded silently. Her face was ashen and her eyes surprisingly dry. Parvati wondered if Lavender even had any tears left to cry, if she'd cried out all her tears over the year. But maybe she was just trying not to dwell.

They were sitting with almost all the rest of Gryffindor House in the common room. Funny how in times of panic or doubt they all gathered together for solidarity. She liked to think that the other houses were gathered in their own common rooms, that the teachers were all together, that the portraits were holding vigil, that the ghosts had come together to grieve. She felt like even the castle itself was mourning the death of Albus Dumbledore.

There was a tapping at the window. Parvati turned to see that an owl was waiting outside. She recognized it as her parents' owl and was filled with dread as she got up to receive it.

"What is it?" Lavender asked.

"It's from my parents, forwarded by Padma," Parvati replied, scanning over it as the owl perched itself on top of the notice board. "They're coming in the morning to take us home."

"But...but you can't!" Lavender said in hushed exclamation.

"I don't think we can dissuade them this time," Parvati said sadly. She sat back down and put an arm around Lavender's shoulders.

"What about the funeral?" she asked quietly.

"I'll be sorry to miss it," Parvati replied. "You'll have to tell me all about it when you write me this summer."

Lavender stared out the window. "Things just got really bad, didn't they?"

"Yeah, Lav, I think they did."

Parvati's eyes got dark as she looked out over the familiar faces of her housemates. She wondered how many of them would return next year. She wondered how many of them she'd never see again.

She wondered if any of them would die.

Parvati shivered.

The phoenix stopped singing.


	53. Alive

_This Is Where_

* * *

**53\. Alive**

Platform 9 3/4 was covered in a gloomy haze interrupted by hushed assurances, the barked instructions of Ministry officials, and the occasional pleading screams of a caught Muggle-born. People stared at the ground and walked quickly, afraid to make eye contact with anyone. Parents left as quickly as they arrived; nobody stayed to watch the train leave. There was a line coming from the barrier where they had to have their identities checked before they could even approach the train.

"Name?" asked a man with one white eye and one brown.

"Parvati Patil," she replied evenly.

"Year?"

"Seventh."

"House?"

"Gryffindor."

The man sneered at her and turned to his assistant. "Check the P's," he snapped.

"I've got two Patils," the assistant replied.

"The other would be me," said Padma from behind her twin sister. "Padma Patil. Seventh-year Ravenclaw."

The man rolled his eyes. "Twins. Unnatural," Parvati heard him mutter.

"Half-bloods," the assistant said, reading off the parchment. "Parents are Gotama and Kanti Patil. Father's a half-blood, works in the International Confederation of Wizards. The mother's a Mudblood, but she hasn't presented herself for registration."

Parvati bristled. Padma curled her fingers around Parvati's wrist in warning, so Parvati held her tongue. For now.

"Tell me, lovelies," the man crooned, reaching a finger out for Parvati's braid. She flinched away from him and he glared. "Where's your mum?" he snapped.

"We don't know," Padma answered steadily.

"Sure you don't," he muttered. "You here alone? Where's your dad?"

"Working," Padma replied. "Are we free to board, sir?" she asked stiffly.

The man grumbled to himself and held out his hand. "Wand arm please."

He raised his eyebrows when Parvati presented her left arm. He pointed his wand at her forearm and something zapped her. She wrenched her hand back as he chuckled and did the same to Padma. They rubbed their arms as they pulled their luggage over to the train.

"Arm," demanded a woman with bitter look on her face.

Parvati held hers out. She saw with a start that a few welts had risen on her arm where the man had zapped her. They were angry and red and explained why her arm was tingling. One was the fraction 1/2 enclosed in a circle. Another was the number seven and the third was a capital G. They'd been branded, Parvati realized. Like cattle.

"Gryffindor. You're in the last carriage," she said, pointing at the back of the train.

"What? Why are we being separated?" Parvati demanded. Never before had seating on the train been dictated.

"New rules," the woman replied quickly, reaching for Padma's arm. "Ravenclaw. Second carriage. Next!"

Parvati turned to Padma. "Pad - "

"Just go," Padma said quietly. "We have to do what they say, Par. Keep your head down and keep quiet, you hear?"

"You know you're talking to a Gryffindor, right?" Parvati said with a grin.

Padma rolled her eyes. "Just...be smart, okay?"

"I thought that was your job," Parvati replied. "You're supposed to be smart and I'm supposed to be brave."

"We're supposed to stay alive," Padma countered. Her eyes were fierce and Parvati had to admit defeat.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I was just teasing," Parvati said. "I'll see you at the feast, okay?"

Padma nodded. "See you soon."

They hugged and separated. Parvati dragged her luggage over to the last carriage of the train and got on. She saw familiar faces peek out at her from the compartment doors but noticed that many were missing. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were nowhere to be seen. Dean and Ginger weren't there either. But the face that truly mattered to Parvati was - thankfully - there.

"Lav," Parvati breathed.

Lavender looked up and moved so quickly that Parvati hadn't even had time to react before they were hugging. Then Lavender dragged her down into a seat and closed the compartment door.

"I'm so glad you're here," Lavender said.

"Didn't have much of a choice," Parvati said, "what with this new mandatory attendance rule. Did they mark you too?"

Lavender held up her arm. The brand was the same as Parvati's, except in place of the 1/2 was the letter P for pureblood.

"What are we going to do?" Lavender whispered. "There's a rumor going around that Snape's headmaster."

Parvati's heart hammered painfully at this news. She swallowed. "We're going to keep our mouths shut and our heads down. We're going to take our N.E.W.T.'s and get out of here alive."

"We're not going to fight?"

"Who said anything about fighting?!" Parvati asked, looking around surreptitiously as if they were being listened in on. She saw Fay walk by the compartment door, looking strangely different without Ginger by her side.

"Well, that's what Harry, R - " Lavender cut off. "That's what those three are doing, isn't it? That's why they're not here."

"Hermione's Muggle-born and Ron's a blood traitor and Harry is wanted for questioning about Dumbledore," Parvati said. "They couldn't have come back even if they'd wanted to. And I heard that Ron's home sick with spattergroit."

Lavender sighed and stared down at her lap. "I think they're fighting."

"I think they're saving their own necks," Parvati replied. "Which is what we've all got to do."


	54. Hair

_This Is Where_

* * *

**54\. Hair**

"...meanwhile there's been no more news about our dear Golden Trio since their supposed infiltration of the Ministry, but no news is good news in my opinion! Now, moving on the topic of - "

The portrait hole opened suddenly and without warning. The Gryffindor students sprang into action, snatching and turning off the radio that had just been broadcasting Potterwatch, the new rebel radio show. They faced the intruder with tight, pinched faces but needn't have been worried, for it was one of their own.

"Parvati!" Lavender exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

It was indeed Parvati, but she looked almost beyond recognition. The entire right side of her face was swollen and she couldn't open that eye. Her lip was split in three places. There was a long cut above her eyebrow and dried blood all over her face. She was clutching her wrist, which looked bruised and swollen. But perhaps the most horrifying part was her hair. Her long, trademark hair was gone. It looked like it had been bluntly hacked off and now hung around her jawline. The three foot long braid was gripped in her other hand.

"What happened?" asked Neville, a darkly furious look on his face.

"Carrows," she replied as Lavender and Fay helped her over to a chair. "Asking...about Ma..."

"Her mum," Lavender explained quietly as revulsion swept through her. "Muggle-born, ran off at the beginning of the summer." Lavender turned to her friend. "Why didn't you go to Madam Pomfrey?"

"Don' wanna," Parvati mumbled. "Wan' it to scar, to show..." She broke off with a gasp of pain as she touched her swollen wrist.

Lavender bit her lip. "Did they get Padma too?"

Parvati nodded slightly. Tears welled in her open eye. "She's...worse."

The entire common room inhaled sharply. Parvati looked bad enough. If Padma was worse...

"So much for keeping our heads down," Lavender said hotly, straightening up and facing the room. "They're going to punish us no matter what. Even if we do everything they say they'll find a reason. Well, I'm not taking it lying down. If we're going to get punished, might as well do something worth punishing, eh?"

She gave all of them a hard look, but not many met her gaze.

"Let's get some sleep," Neville said eventually. "Come on. Everybody now." He looked over at Parvati and Lavender. "You two can stay down here."

Lavender nodded curtly. Neville waited as everyone filed off to their separate dormitories and then he and Seamus went up the boys' staircase. Parvati was sitting up now in the chair, holding the braid in both hands and staring at it with an expression Lavender couldn't read. She looked completely different, but Lavender couldn't be sure that it was just because of the hair.

And then, without warning, Parvati threw the braid in the fire. Lavender gasped with surprise and shock, and instantly the acrid scent of burnt hair filled the common room.

"What - " Lavender turned to Parvati and saw with horror that she was now trying to cut off the rest of her hair with her wand. "Wait, why - "

"It's just hair," Parvati whispered, a savage tone to her voice, "but they tried to use it as a weapon against me. So I won't let them. I'll show them that they haven't beaten me. It takes more than cutting my hair off to make me bow down."

"Let me help - "

"No, I need to do it myself," Parvati replied.

She grabbed sections of hair with her right hand and used a Severing Charm to cut the hair off. Then she cast the sections of hair into the fire. The flames leapt every time. The process was slow-going, and Parvati cried as she did it. Lavender wondered if it was because of the pain from her wrist or because of something else. Finally she was done, and her wand fell out of her limp hand as she slumped back in the armchair.

"Can you...can you even it out?" Parvati asked, out of breath. "Down to the skin."

Lavender got up from her spot on the floor. "I'll try." She got her wand out and started to shave off the rest that Parvati hadn't been able to reach.

"It's just hair," Parvati said quietly. "It's just hair."


	55. Strong

_This Is Where_

* * *

**55\. Strong**

"Are you sure you don't want to wear a head scarf or anything?" Lavender asked the next morning.

"I'm sure," Parvati replied, running her hand over her bald head. "I want them to see, I want them all to see." She was surprised by how intensely she felt about this. It's not that she wanted them to bear witness to what she'd suffered, she just wanted them to see that they hadn't conquered her.

"If you're sure," Lavender said.

Parvati smiled at her. "But I think tomorrow I'll borrow a bow of yours."

She waited for Lavender to smile back, but Lavender just stared at her for a long moment. Parvati started to feel a little self-conscious. They'd washed the blood off of her face last night, but it was even more swollen now. She couldn't open her right eye even if she'd wanted to. And the cut above her eyebrow had started to scab up, and her lip was swollen and scabbed too. Not to mention her left wrist was still swollen, and that was her wand arm. She probably looked like a wreck, especially with her newly bald head.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen," Lavender whispered.

Parvati's heart gave a mighty wrench and tears sprang to her good eye. "You're off your rocker again, Lav."

"No, I'm serious," Lavender insisted. She paused. "In third year you told me that...that I was the strongest person you knew."

"Yeah?"

"Well you're the strongest person _I_ know," she said.

Parvati reached out and took Lavender's hand, squeezing it tightly. "We make each other strong, Lav."


	56. Kiss

_This Is Where_

* * *

**56\. Kiss**

"I've been wondering...what's gotten in to you lately?" Parvati asked.

Lavender looked up, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I just mean...well, you were pretty fragile at the end of last year," Parvati said slowly, "and now you're inspiring rebellions. I mean, I'm not complaining. I like it. But what changed?"

"This coming from the girl who shaved her head after not cutting it for ten years," Lavender retorted.

Parvati shoved her playfully. "Come on, I'm serious."

"I know." Lavender fiddled with her fingers for a moment. "Dumbledore died," she replied softly, "and I grew up."

She was absentmindedly rubbing her forearm where the welts had faded into thick white scars, branding her for life.

"I had this realization that life is...life is fleeting. Especially in times of war. And I told myself, "Lavender, if you're going to survive this war then you can't be at war with yourself.""

"What does that mean, exactly?" Parvati asked. Her voice had gone kind of funny.

Lavender looked over at her. "Kiss me."

Parvati's eyes widened. "What?"

"On the forehead," Lavender said. "Kiss me on the forehead."

Parvati looked doubtful.

"You said you wouldn't kiss me again unless I asked you to," Lavender said, on the verge of losing her resolve. "So kiss me on the forehead."

After an achingly long moment of deliberation, Parvati leaned over and pressed her lips to Lavender's forehead. Lavender shivered and instantly knew the truth: Parvati had never stopped giving her butterflies. She'd just learned how to ignore them.

"Cheek," Lavender instructed.

Parvati shifted closer on the floor and kissed her cheek.

"Other one too."

She complied.

The Divination classroom seemed hazy, but Lavender couldn't tell if that was because of the way her heart was pounding in her ears or if that's just how the room usually was. They were technically supposed to be hand-cleaning the crystal balls (detention from Snape for smiling too widely) but Trelawney told them they could just hang out up here for a few hours instead, their little secret.

"Nose."

Parvati giggled and Lavender cracked a smile. Parvati leaned forward and kissed the tip of Lavender's tiny nose.

Lavender swallowed down her nerves. "Mouth."

"Are you sure?" Parvati whispered.

Lavender nodded and held her breath in anticipation as Parvati leaned in. But she merely ghosted her lips against Lavender's before pulling quickly away like she'd been burned.

"I'm sorry," Parvati said. "I just - "

But a dam had broken inside of Lavender and everything that she'd kept held down inside of her came rushing out. She leapt at Parvati and they fell over on the carpeted floor, causing a cloud of dust to rise unnoticed by the two. Lavender put a hand on Parvati's cheek and kissed her deeply. Emotions swept over her so strongly she felt like she was going to be ripped in two.

Parvati rolled them over so she was on top and stared down at Lavender. Fear and longing mixed together in her eyes, and Lavender felt guilty that she had put the fear there.

She reached up and put her hands on the back of Parvati's neck and head, tickling the short hairs that had started to grow back there. She would never forget the looks of shock on the Carrows' faces, nor the fact that Padma had also shaved her head that night. Lavender owed that to some twin telepathy stuff. She'd never forget how McGonagall had awarded Parvati fifty points and claimed it was for raising her hand in class, how students came up and thanked Parvati for her bravery, how Parvati had bent over again and againt to let people touch her head. And she would never forget the way Parvati had smiled so radiantly that day, as if she were on top of the world.

"Kiss me," Lavender said, trying to put as much meaning and feeling into those two words as she could.

Parvati must have understood, because she did.

* * *

If any of you are on tumblr, a few of us are trying to start a ship tag for Par/Lav like we have for Deamus. So now it's...Larvati!

~Ki


	57. Secret

_This Is Where_

* * *

**57\. Secret**

"How come nobody knows about us?" Parvati asked.

It was late at night and they were sitting together in a chair by the fire in the empty common room. They hardly got any time alone, so they grabbed at every chance they could, even if it meant a few hours less sleep.

"What do you mean?" Lavender asked.

"Well...it's like how everybody knows that Dean and Seamus are mad for each other," Parvati said. "Or how they knew that Harry and Ginny were going to end up together eventually. And the same thing with Ron and Hermione. I'm just wondering, why don't they know about us?"

"Because nobody pays attention to us," Lavender replied. "Haven't you noticed? We're always in the background. People think we're just two silly girls who giggle about boys all the time. They think that's all there is to us."

Parvati leaned over and kissed Lavender's neck. "Well they're wrong."

Lavender laughed quietly. "I know they are."

"But they could know about us."

Lavender frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"We don't have to hide. We don't have to be a secret."

"Yes we do," Lavender said with a sigh. "Do you really think Death Eaters regard..." She paused. "Regard people like us much different than they do Muggle-borns?"

"I don't know," Parvati replied stiffly. "And by _people like us_, do you mean bisexuals? Lesbians? Gays?"

Lavender got up, bristling.

"Are you still ashamed?" Parvati asked quietly.

"Parvati, I've spent the past four years of my life suppressing the feelings I have for you and hating myself because of them," Lavender said, her back to her. "I dated Ron in a wildly desperate attempt to prove that I was..._normal_." Lavender turned back to face Parvati, tears in her eyes. "That part of me isn't going to go away in just a few months. That part of me that still despises myself for wanting to kiss you, to touch you, to hold your hand."

Parvati reached out and took Lavender's hands. She was shaking slightly, blinking her eyes as tears fell down. She could remember that moment, back in fourth year, when she'd realized that maybe she loved Parvati in a whole other way than she'd meant to, and the horrified terror that followed that realization.

"So no, I don't want anybody else to know," she continued, "because I hardly know what to think of it myself. I'm really happy that you're so comfortable, Par, that you know who you are and accept it. But all I know is that the only person I've ever wanted to kiss is you. And I don't know if that makes me bi or a lesbian or what. What I do know is that being with you right now is the only good thing in my life right now. And I'd like to keep that between us."

"Okay," Parvati said, squeezing Lavender's hands and pulling her back into the chair. "Okay. We won't let anyone know."

Lavender sighed with weak relief. "Thank you."

* * *

I see Lav as a demisexual lesbian =)

~Ki


	58. United

_This Is Where_

* * *

**58\. United**

"What are you doing here?"

"This is our night!"

"Shh!"

"No, you're next week on the fifth floor."

"Well we're here now."

"What's she doing with you?"

"Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd help."

"_Shh!_"

"Did you get the first floor already?"

"Yeah."

"Well how about this wall?"

"What should we write?"

"I dunno, write "I support Harry Potter" or something."

"Shh! You're going to get us caught!"

"Wait, are those footsteps?"

The group froze and doused their wandlights. They were sunk. Whoever was approaching was too close for them to escape without notice, and the tunnel was too far for them to make it even if they'd tried. Parvati found Lavender's hand in the dark and held it tight.

A moment later their doom turned the corner. It was two seventh year Slytherins, their wands lit and pointed out in front of them. Parvati recognized them as Daphne Greengrass and Theodore Nott. Their eyes widened upon finding two Gryffindors, two Ravenclaws, and a Hufflepuff out of bed. They must have been quite a sight. There were Parvati and Lavender holding hands, Hannah pressing herself against the wall, Michael with his hand over his own mouth, and Padma standing stock still with paint on her face.

Daphne raised her eyebrows. "Oh."

"Well this is a sight," Theodore said.

They still didn't move. Parvati's hand itched for her wand.

"Okay," Daphne said slowly, "We're just going to go this way," She pointed to her right, "and act like we never saw anything."

"Seriously?" Padma said with a frown.

"You're not going to report us?" Hannah asked.

The Slytherins exchanged a look.

"No, I think not," Daphne replied.

Parvati narrowed her eyes. "What do you want in return for your silence?"

"Nothing," she said, frowning.

"We're out after curfew too, in case you haven't noticed," Theodore added.

"But you're Slytherins," Lavender said.

Daphne's gaze became cold. "A fact you have never let us forget, Gryffindor."

"I just mean," Lavender continued stiffly, "that they'd never punish you. They'd probably give you medals for finding us."

"Snape and the Carrows wouldn't punish us. Slughorn either, he's too spineless," Theodore said. "But the other teachers? They'd jump at the opportunity."

"You see, while you have three teachers against you, we have the rest of the staff against us," Daphne said. "Not to mention the entire rest of the student body. We're your scapegoats. You all take your anger at the situation out on us."

"You could change that," Parvati said. "You could join us. You could rebel too."

"Could we?" Daphne said softly.

"My dad's a Death Eater," Theodore said. "Could _you_ fight against your own dad, against your heritage? Could you rebel knowing that your parents are under You-Know-Who's thumb?"

"Would you even _want_ to?" Daphne added. "Knowing that the people you'd be fighting for hated you simply because you wear green?"

The D.A. members looked away. Parvati's insides squirmed. She realized that this was probably the first conversation she'd ever had with a Slytherin.

"This war isn't black and white. It's not as simple as choosing a side," Theodore said.

"More Slytherins support you than you know," Daphne said. "If there's some big final battle, probably none of us will join you, but we'll want you to win. We don't want to live in a world ruled by You-Know-Who either."

Michael snorted.

"It's true," she hissed. "We're not all evil, you know. We're not all Malfoys. We were just taught the wrong lessons. A lot of us would like to join you, but we can't put our families in danger. So forgive us if we're not going to risk our necks and our loved ones for people who don't even like us to begin with. Survival is the name of the game, after all."

"That's such a Slytherin mentality," Lavender muttered.

"And risking everything just to paint some slogans on the wall is such a Gryffindor thing to do," Daphne snapped. "Rash, stupid, and pointless."

"These slogans give people hope," Padma said. "And they let the Death Eaters know that we're not gonna stop fighting."

"If you say so." Theodore turned to Daphne. "We done?"

"Yes," Daphne said. They turned to go but Daphne paused. "And if you're wondering what to paint on that wall, how about "Remember Cedric Diggory"?"

Their jaws dropped as they stared at her. Theodore was grinning down at her, looking both amused and a little in love.

Daphne shrugged. "That's what I'd paint if I were a stupid, reckless Gryffindor."

"Should we paint it in green?" Parvati asked cheekily.

"No, better do that one in yellow," Daphne replied. "If you're going to paint something in green, make it "United we stand" or something like that. That'd really stir up the Carrows."

"You're serious?" Hannah said.

Daphne shrugged and turned to Theodore, putting her arm through hers. "Let's go, Theo, I'm tired."

"Thank you," Parvati said quickly as they made to leave.

"Theo, did you hear something?" Daphne asked, but flashed Parvati an amused look.

Parvati was stunned. Apparently, so was everyone else. They stood in silence and darkness for at least a minute before Michael lit his wand and said,

"Did that just happen?"

"I think it did," Parvati replied, and she began to wonder if perhaps the students of Hogwarts were more united than she'd thought.


	59. Green

_This Is Where_

* * *

**59\. Green**

"All students are to meet in the Great Hall before going to classes," rang Alecto Carrow's voice through the school the next morning.

Parvati and Lavender looked at each other and grinned. They knew why there was an assembly. There was more graffiti around, of course. "D.A. forever" was in blue outside North Tower. "Dumbledore's Army, still recruiting" in red on the first floor corridor. "Remember Cedric Diggory" in yellow and black on a wall in the Transfiguration Courtyard. But graffiti had become so normal that they didn't warrant assemblies anymore.

There was an assembly because, after their encounter with Daphne and Theodore, they'd painted "Hogwarts united" in green across landing of the marble stairs that led to the Entrance Hall and put an especially strong Unremovable Charm on it. Filch would probably find a way to get it off eventually or the charm would fade, but it would be around for a while, and every single person in the castle would have to walk by it every day.

"More disturbing graffiti was found last night in the castle," Alecto said, stalking back and forth in front of the head table. "Undoubtedly from the nasty rebel group calling itself Dumbledore's Army."

"We remind students that any information on the members is to be brought to us immediately," said Amycus.

He waited, but the hall remained silent. Parvati looked over and saw Daphne with the Slytherins, but Daphne's expression was carefully disinterested. Neither she nor Theodore made any move to give them up.

"You have undoubtedly noticed the saying painted outside this hall," Alecto sneered. "And we most certainly hope that Hogwarts is united. United under the rule of our great Dark Lord and united in the goal of reclaiming our natural position of power over the Muggles."

"But we fear that is not the intent of the message," Amycus continued. "And given the color of the message, we fear that some of the noble house of Slytherin have joined up with the rebels."

Alecto faced Slytherin table. "Is this true?"

The Slytherins looked at each other suspiciously, as if their buddy next to them had suddenly turned traitor.

"It's probably a propaganda plot," Daphne said.

Amycus walked over to her. "What?"

"I said it's probably a propaganda plot," she repeated, her tone bored as she looked at him with raised eyebrows. "They used green paint to turn you against us. No true Slytherin would ever side with those Army idiots. They're trying to rile you up, to distract you. And from the looks of it," She gazed at him with obvious disdain, "it's working."

Amycus growled with frustration and swept back up to the head table where his sister stood looking frustrated. Daphne caught Parvati's eye and winked surreptitiously. Parvati fought the urge to laugh.

"Dismissed," Alecto snapped.

There was a great scraping as all the benches pushed back and the students went to their classes.

The D.A. never used green paint again, but nevertheless felt that an understanding had been reached.


	60. Roles

_This Is Where_

* * *

**60\. Roles**

"And that, ladies, is why you should never buy Circe brand makeup," Lavender finished.

The four first year girls stared at Lavender, who'd just finished telling them a horror story about her cousin's eyeliner, which had chased her around the house and drew black lines all over her body. They looked terrified.

Lavender smiled. "Go see Neville now, he's teaching you Alohomora today."

They scrambled to their feet and ran to the other side of the Room of Requirement where a classroom had sprang into existence a few days ago.

Lavender hummed to herself as she went about straightening the makeup vanity that sat outside the girls' bathroom. Parvati walked over, remembering how the girls' bathroom had appeared once Hannah arrived, but the vanity had appeared when Lavender and Parvati came.

"I think you scarred them for life," Parvati said with a grin.

"I also gave them some killer makeup tips," Lavender replied. She reached up and felt Parvati's head. "You're getting a little fuzzy, want me to shave it again?"

"Maybe later."

Lavender shrugged and set about arranging the makeup brushes by size. Parvati sat next to her on the bench and watched her for a moment. She felt discontent with this. She'd felt discontent for a while, actually.

"Why do we do this, Lav?" she asked. "Worry about our hair and makeup?"

Lavender looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that we're in the middle of a _war_, for Godric's sake," Parvati said, surprised at the anger that surged through her. "We've gone into hiding in our own damn school. Luna was taken back in December, Ginny and her family are in hiding, Ginger was found dead last week, Dean could be dead or alive - "

"Don't let Seamus let you hear that," Lavender said quietly, glancing over where Seamus was sitting moodily in a corner. He was still heavily injured from his last session with the Carrows, and that had been a week and a half ago.

"They all think we're a joke," Parvati said bitterly. "Everybody's got a job except us. We just sit around and do our makeup and giggle."

"Well that's the role we were assigned in this play, isn't it?" Lavender said matter-of-factly.

Parvati stared at her, waiting for elaboration. Lavender explained as easily as if she were explaining basic arithmetic.

"You-Know-Who is the villain and Harry's the hero," she said. "Ron and Hermione are the loyal sidekicks, heart and brains respectively. Neville is the underdog who rises heroically to the occasion. Ginny's the love interest but not the damsel in distress. Luna's the free spirit. Seamus was the comic relief, but now he's the ever-waiting army wife."

"And us?"

"We're the silly girls who everybody likes to laugh at, who care more about makeup and palm-reading than real-world affairs," Lavender replied simply.

Parvati bristled. "But - "

"These are the roles we've been assigned," Lavender said again. "The casting list was posted back in first year, from the first moment we put on that Hat."

"Don't you ever want more?" Parvati asked softly.

"All the time. But we all have our part to play," she said. "And we can't change the script right before the climax."

"The climax?" Parvati asked.

Lavender nodded. "Can't you feel it?" She looked around. "I feel like something very big is going to happen soon."

Parvati thought about it for a moment. It definitely felt like they were all waiting for something.

"The show must go on," Lavender continued. "Even background characters are vital to this."

Parvati was silent. She didn't like it, but what Lavender was saying made sense.

"Besides..." Lavender held up some makeup brushes, eyeliners, and mascaras. "These are weapons, too, in their own way. They can even be armor."

"Yeah, but they won't save you from a curse flying at your face," Parvati said darkly.

"Perhaps not." Lavender bent over a mirror and observed her eyeliner. "But they protect me in other ways."


	61. Girlfriend

_This Is Where_

* * *

**61\. Girlfriend**

"This is incredible," Lavender said, sounding awestruck as they waited for orders. "Absolutely incredible."

"Incredible?" Parvati repeated. "Lav, we're about to go to war! Like a _real_ war!"

"And we're an Army, aren't we?" she said. "_Dumbledore's Army!_" she shouted to the hall.

"_Dumbledore's Army!_" shouted the students who were running by.

Lavender grinned at Parvati. "This is huge. It's gonna go down in history."

It certainly felt that way. Everyone was running about preparing for battle. Parvati saw Neville and a group of students run by with various vicious-looking plants. Suits of armor trudged by with heavy footsteps on the stone floors. Portraits shouted encouragements from their hangings. Lavender was right: this battle would be one for the history books.

And as she looked at Lavender's bright eyes and flushed cheeks Parvati felt that the girl's excitement was contagious as she started to get a little giddy herself.

"Lavender," she said, feeling daring all of a sudden. "When all of this is over, will you be my girlfriend?" she asked. "For real?"

The blonde smiled so brightly that Parvati felt like she was staring into the sun. "Is that even a question?" Lavender replied.

Parvati's heart stopped. "You mean it? No more hiding?" she asked, feeling hopeful for the first time in forever. "You're not ashamed anymore?"

"No more hiding," Lavender confirmed, reaching out and taking Parvati's hands. "If we survive this, I'll run singing it through the halls! I'll write the Daily Prophet! I'll scream it from the Astronomy Tower, let the whole world know that _I love Parv_ \- " She'd started to shout this part to the hall.

"Shh!" Parvati covered Lavender's mouth with a giggle.

"I love you Parvati," Lavender said sincerely after pulling Parvati's hand off.

Parvati smiled. "I love you too," she whispered.

"Come on, girls!" Trelawney shouted as she ran by them. "To the classroom!"

"What for?" Lavender asked.

"We're going to throw crystal balls at them!" she cried excitedly.

Parvati looked at Lavender with eyebrows raised. "So much for all those detentions we spent cleaning them."


	62. Death

_This Is Where_

* * *

**62\. Death**

"Have another!" Trelawney shouted, holding out a crystal ball to Lavender.

She, Trelawney, and a Ravenclaw boy she didn't know were standing on the balcony overlooking the Entrance Hall. Despite their efforts to stay together, Parvati had gotten swept away with the crowd on their way to the North Tower. Lavender kept straining her eyes to find her, to catch some glimpse of her best friend, to make sure she hadn't gotten hurt.

She thought she saw a bald head moving through the crowd but couldn't tell if it was Padma or Parvati. She hoped the two were together in any case, but had heard that Padma was with a group protecting a hidden passage.

"Over here," she said to the Ravenclaw, who looked a bit young to supposedly be seventeen. They wandered to another side of the balcony. Lavender craned her neck and leaned over the balcony to try to see who it was she'd seen.

Suddenly something hit her in the back and she was knocked over and was falling through the air. There was a horrible crunch as she landed on her back among the emeralds scattered around the floor and she felt something snap in her leg, which was pinned underneath her. She hear a howl of agony come from her left where the Ravenclaw boy must've landed. But before she'd even had a chance to even think about getting up, something large had pinned her down and was tearing at the skin of her neck.

Pain like nothing before flooded her and her vision went black for a few long moments. Her head was throbbing and she felt her mind go fuzzy at the edges. Whatever was on top of her got blasted away, but she still couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. Blood spurted out of her mouth whenever she tried.

Her entire body roared with pain, but then it started fading away to nothingness and she wondered if this was what death felt like. She tried to turn her head but the pain in her neck was still too much. She tried to open her eyes and search for Parvati, but everything was too blurry and she couldn't keep them open for more than half a second.

A tear slipped down her cheek as everything faded into darkness and she felt no more.


	63. Gone

_This Is Where_

* * *

**63\. Gone**

Being in a real fight was nothing like what they'd practiced.

Everything happened too quickly and Parvati went on autopilot, firing off spells before she could even think to react. She'd gotten separated from Lavender on the way to the North Tower and had ended up fighting alongside Dean. He was on his way with Seamus and a few others to blow up the covered bridge but had saved Parvati from a couple Death Eaters and lost the rest of his group. They'd managed to take the two Death Eaters out fairly quickly because they'd gotten distracted, but then she and Dean went upstairs and got back into the thick of it.

"Susan!" Parvati shouted. "Watch out!"

Susan Bones ducked as a second Death Eater came upon her. Parvati tugged on Dean's sleeve and they went over and helped her fight them off after dodging a few spiders. They were just exchanging grim smiles over the Death Eaters' bodies when the chilling voice swept through the air.

_"...You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat you injured..."_

Dispose of your dead.

Parvati was suddenly very afraid.

"Come on," Dean said to her, looking anxious. "Let's go to the Great Hall."

Parvati shook her head. "I don't want to." The Great Hall would be where they gathered the dead, she knew it. "I don't want to see."

She thought about how Lavender said she was the strongest person she knew. She thought how that was a joke. She could hardly get her feet to move properly as Dean put an arm around her and led her down to the Hall. Parvati had a haunting sense that something was wrong and the feeling grew with every step toward the Great Hall. Something wasn't right, she knew it, something -

She was screaming before she'd even registered what she was seeing.

There was a line of bodies going down the middle of the hall. The Weasley family was surrounding someone down the line. Fay was near the front. Professor Lupin was lying next to a girl with pink hair. Instructions were being shouted for groups to go out and collect even more bodies from the grounds. But it wasn't any of this that Parvati saw at first.

What she saw was the body of Lavender Brown.

She was at Lavender's side in an instant, tears blurring her vision. Lavender's leg was broken, her body was heavily bruised all over, and her eyeliner was smudged. It looked like her throat had been torn out. Her eyes were thankfully closed. Parvati didn't think she would've been able to stand if they'd been open, if she'd had to close them.

Parvati opened her mouth and screamed again. She screamed until she ran out of breath and then inhaled and screamed again. She poured all of her love, rage, grief, hatred, and despair into her screams. She screamed until her throat felt like it was ripping apart. She screamed until she had nothing left inside her to scream about. She screamed until she dissolved into horrible, racking sobs.

A pair of arms encircled her and Parvati didn't need to look to know it was her twin sister.

"I'm so sorry," Padma murmured in her ear.

Parvati reached a trembling hand out and touched Lavender's wavy hair, now tangled matted with blood. She understood now what Lavender had meant when she said the thing she couldn't wrap her head around in regards to her neighbor's suicide was the way he had been there and then just wasn't. This was Lavender, but it also wasn't. It was just her body, the casing for that brilliant soul. Everything that Lavender is, was, and had been was now gone.

"I loved her," Parvati sobbed hoarsely, clutching her sister's arms. "I loved her."

"I know," Padma whispered, fingers stroking over Parvati's scalp.

Lavender's favorite pink bow was stained with her own blood.


	64. Victorious

_This Is Where_

* * *

**64\. Victorious**

Padma and Parvati sat unmoving next to Lavender's body until people came to move it to a separate room. Their hands were clasped and they were together in silence for the first time since first year. All around them were mourners, frantic reunions, injured seeking medical attention. Harry was nowhere to be seen.

"It's been over an hour," someone said. "Why hasn't anything happened?"

But a moment later that person was probably wishing they hadn't said anything, for Voldemort's cruel voice rang through the Hall.

_"Harry Potter is dead,"_ he announced happily.

Shocked exclamations and murmurs filled the air. Dread soaked Parvati like she'd been drenched in cold water. He was commanding them to leave the castle now, and they were complying, but not to join him. They just couldn't believe that Harry could be dead.

McGonagall was one of the first out of the Hall and her scream of horror echoed throughout the castle and the grounds. People flooded out of the castle, spreading out to see the line of Death Eaters and - Parvati stiffened - Voldemort. She'd never seen him before, only heard him described, and he looked even more terrible than she'd imagined.

Hagrid stood nearby, tied up, with Harry limp and pale in his arms. Big tears were rolling down Hagrid's cheeks and disappearing into his beard.

All around them people started shouting protests, denying what they saw in front of them. Tears filled Parvati's eyes, but she more angry than sad. This meant that Lavender had died for nothing, that all of their sacrifices were in vain.

"SILENCE!" Voldemort roared, using his wand to cast silence over all of them. "It is over! Set him down, Hagrid, at my feet, where he belongs!"

Hagrid lumbered over, fury and misery mixed on his face as he gently set Harry down on the grass. Parvati felt like throwing up.

"You see?" Voldemort began pacing back and forth, staring gleefully down at Harry's body. "Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!"

Rage filled Parvati at the outrageous lie. Harry tried to get them not to fight, always told them he could do it on his own.

"He beat you!" yelled Ron from somewhere at the front of the crowd. The silence spell had broken, and this time Parvati and Padma joined in on the shouts of abuse directed at the Death Eaters.

Voldemort raised his wand again and their voices were taken from them. He looked livid.

"He was killed while trying to sneak out of the castle grounds, killed while trying to save himself - "

Someone shoved their way through Parvati and Padma, breaking apart their joined hands, and ran at Voldemort, wand raised. Parvati felt like she'd been hit in the chest with shock because the person who'd tried to take on Voldemort all by himself was none other than Neville Longbottom. Neville Longbottom, the boy they'd all made fun of for six years, who turned out to be the bravest of them all.

Voldemort Disarmed Neville easily and threw the wand aside. "And who is this? Who has volunteered to demonstrate what happens to those who continue to fight when the battle is lost?"

A woman with heavy eyes and thick black hair laughed. "It is Neville Longbottom, my Lord!" she said eagerly. "The boy who has been giving the Carrows so much trouble! The son of the Aurors, remember?"

"Ah, yes, I remember."

Parvati couldn't believe her eyes as she saw Neville struggle to rise back up, a contemptuous look on his face as he looked Voldemort straight in the face.

"But you are a pureblood, aren't you, my brave boy?" Voldemort said condescendingly.

"So what if I am?" Neville countered.

"You show spirit and bravery, and you come of noble stock. You will make a very valuable Death Eater. We need your kind, Neville Longbottom."

"I'll joing you when hell freezes over," Neville declared, then shouted, "Dumbledore's Army!"

Parvati roared her support with the rest of the crowd. Voldemort's strongest Silencing Charms couldn't keep them silent, not when they had something to say.

"Very well." Voldemort's tone had gone even icier. "If that is your choice, Longbottom, we revert to the original plan. On your head be it." He Summoned something and suddenly the Sorting Hat was gripped in his hand. "There will be no more Sorting at Hogwarts School. There will be no more Houses. The emblem, shield, and colors of my noble ancestor, Salazar Slytherin, will suffice for everyone. Won't they, Neville Longbottom?"

Neville went rigid where he stood and Parvati recognized the effects of the Body-Bind Curse. Voldemort put the hat on his head and turned to the crowd again.

"Neville here is now going to demonstrate what happens to anyone foolish enough to continue to oppose me."

They all screamed as suddenly the hat lit on fire and Neville stood, unable to move, beneath it. But just then there was a mighty war cry and the smaller giant that Parvati had seen with Hagrid came running from the side of the castle followed by a whole herd of centaurs with bows.

Then there were more shouts as Neville broke free of the Curse and wrenched the burning hat off of his head. He held a shiny silver sword in his hand, the one Ginny, Neville, and Luna had tried to steal from Snape's office, and he turned and mightily rose the sword, cutting Voldemort's snake's head off with one swipe. Voldemort screamed and then Hagrid started shouting for Harry, who seemed to have disappeared. But that didn't make sense. Dead people didn't vanish, they -

"Parvati, we have to get inside, come on," Padma said urgently, ushering her towards the castle.

Parvati gasped and turned her head up to the sky where she saw great skeletal horses clawing at the giants' eyes. The giants howled with pain and started to stomp everywhere, causing people to scatter, but Parvati had her eyes fixed on what must be thestrals. They looked exactly as Lavender had described them, with their leathery wings and -

_"Parvati!"_ came a shout from behind her as someone shoved her out of the way.

She landed on the ground and yanked her hands back just before somebody stepped on them. She turned and saw Padma standing there with an arrow sticking out of her shoulder. A shocked expression was on her face.

"Padma, no!" she exclaimed, leaping to her feet and supporting Padma so she didn't fall over.

"Guess that's...what I get for trying - " Padma wheezed. " - to be the b-brave one."

Parvati shook her head, angry tears filling her eyes. "Shut up, just shut up. You can't die on me. You can't - "

"I'm not d-dying you idiot," Padma said, hissing with pain though her eyes glittered with amusement. "It just hurts..._a lot._ Get inside, w-will you?"

Parvati nodded urgently and helped Padma over and into the Entrance Hall, taking shelter beside the statue of the first headmaster as centaurs burst into the castle. Parvati got the attention of one of the house-elves that were charging through.

"Can you get her somewhere safe?" she asked.

The house-elf saluted, then grabbed Padma and Apparated away, ignoring Padma's protests. Parvati ran inside and saw them all fighting with twice the determination as before. The Death Eaters were unsettled by the sudden introduction of the centaurs and the disappearance of Harry's body; their fighting wasn't nearly as accurate and they kept tripping on the dead bodies in the center of the room. All around Parvati she saw Death Eaters being taken out, slammed to the ground, blasted out windows. She saw Seamus and Hannah fighting and went to go join them when suddenly Harry reappeared and was quite clearly not dead.

The crowd parted, creating a circle around Voldemort and Harry. They were shouting at each other about things like love and Snape and wands. The clouds parted in the ceiling and the sun shone down just as Voldemort and Harry cast their final spells.

_"Avada Kedavra!"_

_"Expelliarmus!"_

There was a sound like an explosion and they all cowered as huge gold flames erupted in the center of the Hall. Parvati's jaw dropped as Voldemort's wand flew impossibly out of his hand, arcing high over their heads, and landing in Harry's hand. Voldemort's curse rebounded from where it hit Harry's and hit him in the chest. Parvati watched him fall backwards, watched the face that would probably haunt her memories for years to come, and watched as he hit the ground.

It was just like before. He was there and then he wasn't.

They were victorious.

Such volume of cheers had never been heard in that Hall before; not when Gryffindor had miraculously won the cup their first year, not when Cedric Diggory's name came out of the cup, and not when McGonagall announced that Snape had fled. They surged in on Harry, their savior. They cried openly from exhaustion, joy, and grief all at once. The sun rose outside, shining light on the dismal scene.

There was a tugging at her sleeve. She looked down and saw the house-elf from before.

"You is wishing to see your sister, miss?" the house-elf asked.

Parvati almost started crying right then and there. "Yes, please," she whispered.

"Just a minute," the house-elf replied, gingerly taking her hand.

After being squeezed through a black void Parvati and the elf turned up in the hospital wing, which was at least twice as full as it usually was. Madam Pomfrey was bustling around barking instructions at the mediwizards that had come to assist. Padma was sitting up in a bed with bandages wrapped around her shoulder.

"Thank you," Parvati said to the elf, who saluted and disappeared with a crack.

"I heard the cheers," Padma said weakly as Parvati walked over.

"From all the way up here?" Parvati asked.

"Well they were very loud," Padma replied with a smile. "So, did we win?"

_Did_ they win? Parvati thought back to all of their losses. She thought of the destroyed castle and the ruined world outside of Hogwarts. She thought of the bodies that lined the Great Hall and the families that would never again be whole. She thought of Lavender. But she also thought of the celebrators downstairs. She thought of the thud Voldemort's body made when it hit the ground. She thought of her sister, alive and waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, Pad," she said, and the tears finally began to fall as her voice cracked. "We won."


	65. Epilogue

_This Is Where_

* * *

A Time Capsule  
by Lang Leav

This is where  
I began to care,  
where I was befriended;

This is where  
my soul was bared  
where all my rules were bended;

This is where  
a moment we shared  
was stolen and expended;

Now this is where,  
this is where,  
this is where we've ended-

* * *

**65\. Epilogue**

Nineteen Years Later

The bell above the door tinkled delicately.

"Sorry, we're cl - " Parvati stopped and smiled at who walked through the door. "Why, Professor, I never thought I'd see you in my shop."

Minerva McGonagall closed the door behind her and looked around at the psychic shop that Parvati owned. It was set up in downtown Muggle London, and little did the skeptical Muggles that walked through her door know that they were getting the real deal. The ceiling was decorated with a night sky with accurate constellations that changed to reflect the skies above (she was inspired by the Great Hall ceiling). Delicate instruments sat in glass cases along the wall and books sat on shelves beneath them. Cushy armchairs filled the front room and curtains hung over the windows, creating a cozy atmosphere.

"Could I interest you in a reading?" Parvati asked.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Not today, I'm afraid."

Parvati glanced at her calendar. "Isn't today the first? How come you're not at the school?"

"This is my first year of retirement," McGonagall replied somewhat proudly.

"Congratulations!"

"Yes, well, after another generation of Weasleys and a second James Potter I decided perhaps it was time to let someone else handle it," McGonagall said wryly.

Parvati grinned. She had met Harry and Ginny's eldest son a couple times and he was indeed a handful.

"You are going to miss it, though, aren't you?" Parvati asked.

"I already do."

Parvati smiled. "So, what inspired the visit, Professor?"

"I was cleaning out my office the other day when I found this," McGonagall said, fishing through her pockets. "I thought you might like to have it."

She pulled her hand out of her cloak and held it out Parvati. Parvati gasped and covered her mouth.

Sitting in McGonagall's hand was the necklace that Lavender had lost back in fourth year. Parvati had bought it for Lavender's fourteenth birthday. It was a delicate gold chain with a gold bunny-shaped pendant in memory of Lavender's rabbit Binky, who'd died in third year. Once Lavender had realized it was missing they went to Dumbledore to ask that he keep an eye out for it, but there was no word of it.

Parvati held her hand out and McGonagall tipped the necklace into it. Parvati stared at it in wonder.

"I have no idea how it ended up in my office, but things lost in Hogwarts often have strange ways of being found," McGonagall said, watching Parvati with a knowing expression.

"Thank you," Pavati said, looking up. She blinked tears away. "Thank you so much."

"Of course. You have a good day, now." McGonagall made to leave.

"You won't stay, have a cup of tea?" Parvati offered.

McGonagall smiled. "Not this time, thank you. I'll visit again soon, and I might even let you give me a reading."

"That'll be the day," Parvati said with a grin. "Thanks for stopping in, Professor."

"Good day," McGonagall said, then pushed the door open again, the little bell tinkling, and then she was gone.

Parvati stared at the necklace in her hand and smiled, then turned and went to her back room. She approached the small corner table where a potted lavender plant sat with a pink bow tied around the lip of the pot.

"Guess what McGonagall found," she said to the plant. "The necklace I got you."

Parvati reached around the base of the plant and fastened the necklace so the charm hung down over the edge of the pot, nestled against the satin bow.

"She said that things we lose in Hogwarts have a way of being found," Parvati said, smiling in memory. "So I was thinking...maybe someday we'll find our way back to each other."

The flowers bobbed, but there was no breeze.

* * *

The End.

If you want to know how the ending would have gone if Lavender lived, read that on my tumblr: kiconwrites

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you see Par and Lav differently now and hopefully better than before. I went through some self-discovery while writing this, so it means a lot to me

8/25/16: I am currently working on a Neville-centric story to be titled _All I've Yet To Be_, and I'll hopefully be done with it by the end of September. I will work on the sequel to BIK (to be titled _Now I Know_) after I'm done with AYB

For updates on my writing, you can follow me on tumblr or check my "updates" tag there whenever the urge strikes

Again, thank you so very much! Happy readings! (Oh, and a couple other users and I have made #larvati the Par/Lav ship tag on tumblr)

~Ki


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